D A M A G E D • HS

39

TW: Child abuse,
and neglect

ARLO P.O.V

It's midnight, I checked the little digital clock on my nightstand, and saw my favorite number.

Midnight means my mommy and daddy are asleep.

I'm hungry, I haven't eaten since yesterday. My mommy and daddy locked me in my room because I was being bad.

I don't know how I was being bad, all I did was walk into my daddy's office because I wanted someone to talk to. I didn't talk to someone for three days straight.

Mr. Bear can only keep me entertained for so long. I skipped into his office, excited to talk to him. I was going to ask him to take me to the park to play.

Alli and Nini say that going to the park is fun, I've never gone before because my mommy and daddy are too busy to take me, and they don't allow me out of the house alone because I'm too young.

I think that's baloney, I'm eight years old, I think I can go outside by myself, but my daddy doesn't let me.

My daddy wasn't alone in the office when I skipped in. He was talking to another man, who I have seen at the house before, but I don't know his name, he never talks to me. I didn't think it was that big of a deal going into his office. I'm his daughter after all, he has to have time for me.

That's what I always think, but most times, I'm wrong.

My daddy didn't like that I went into his office, he gave me his angry face, and told me to get out. He even used a bad word that I'm not allowed to say.  

I didn't cry this time when he was yelling at me. I haven't the last couple of times either. My daddy says crying is for weak people. I'm not weak, I'm a big strong girl, so I stopped crying to show him that.

He hasn't noticed, but if he did, I think he would be proud of me. He always yells at me louder when I cry in front of him.

He also calls me names, but I can't repeat them, or I would get punished again.

When my daddy was done talking to that man in his office, he came out, and went up to me. He said I was in big trouble, and yelled at me more. He told me I was grounded, and locked me in my room, which is where I have been for the past two days.

I don't like being locked inside my room, it's boring. All I have is my books, and Mr. Bear. He's my best friend. He's really pretty, and the color purple. I love the color purple a lot.

I don't have any other toys because my mommy and daddy never bought me any. They think I don't deserve any, and should learn how to live in the real world.

I don't know what that means, but I don't think I like it all that much.

I stand up from my corner in my closet where I put my blanket and pillows down, so I can read in peace.

Sometimes when my daddy's on the phone, he yells really loud, and I can hear it from my room.

I put a bookmark in my book to keep my spot. I'm reading one of the Baby-sitters Club books. I have a bunch of them I found in the garage one day while I was playing with Mr. Bear.

I grab Mr. Bear's arm, and snuggle him close to me, giving him a hug. He is the only thing I hug when I'm home, or in general.

I leave my closet, and go over to my bedroom door. I try to twist the handle open, but it's locked.