The Arrogance of Elegance

Part the Thirtieth

For once in my life, I needed the window open in my room. I felt horrid. I kept stressing about the ball a few nights ago and if Nicolas found out that he had been the subject of my grand scheme that I had given up. I had hoped not because I felt he would be a horrible tease. Or worse, he would lengthen the distance between us. 

I closed my eyes as the wind breezed through my room, whipping my hair around my face. I wished it was raining yet it had not rained since before the ball which was strange for England. For some strange reason, a walk in the rain sounded so refreshing.

With a sigh, I shut the window before deciding to leave the confines of my room which had been my shelter due to my excuse of a headache. I knew the children would probably need me after not seeing me much since the ball.

I found the children in the parlor with Papa. Daniel and Lucy Hannah were on Papa's lap, while Little John and Anne were sitting on either side of him as he read a story to them. As I drew near, I recognized the story as Daniel in the Lions' Den from the Bible. I watched as Daniel was looking up at Papa, eyes wide with a mix of fear and excitement as he listened to the story of his namesake.

I leaned on the mantle on the edge of the fireplace watching my nieces and nephews sit with their grandfather. I truly wished I had children. I could hardly believe I went from not liking children to wanting some of my own over the course of a few months. My heart ached for a family of my own, but I knew it might be a while until that happened. I slowly stepped out of the parlor, not wanting to interrupt the Bible story that captivated the children so well.

I met Mrs. Cready in the foyer who had gotten the mail. She delivered a single letter to me before curtsying to dismiss herself. I looked at the sender and was shocked that it said, Nicolas Burns. I suddenly felt very sick to the stomach. Was he going to tell me that he found out my feelings for him? Was he going to refuse me? Was he going to tell me to not be so foolish to love him?

I rushed up the stairs to my room, quickly shutting the door behind me. Claudia was in there hanging up my newly laundered clothes. I barely paid her heed before sitting at my desk. I got my letter opener, cut through the envelope and shakily opened the letter.

To Miss Magdelline Forsythe,

I hope this letter finds you well. I will not dally with small talk and will state directly what I am thinking. I couldn't help but notice a few times you stated that you had schemed up ways to marry a certain man, and you had also stated that you had manipulated ways to see me when you thought I would leave sooner than you had wanted. I have something to say about it, and would like to meet with you under our tree at, say, the f__e__th of this month. I should already be there waiting.

Sincerely,
Nicolas

I hastily reread the letter, dreading that he probably figured it out for he was an intelligent man. But I couldn't help but scoff at the fact he blurred out the date of which this meeting would take place. He was teasing me by replicating what I had done to Audra's invitation. Today was the fourteenth. That meant today could be the earliest choice of the date he meant. Either it was today or tomorrow the fifteenth.

I quickly stood up rushing to the mirror to see how I looked. I looked frazzled and tired which was no good. I quickly pulled back some flyaways before pulling on a shawl.

"Miss, whatever is the matter?" Claudia asked as I flew to the door.

"Mr. — Nicolas!" I said before taking a deep breath. "Mr. Burns has sent me a letter to meet him to talk and I don't know—"

"Let me fix your hair at least, Miss," Claudia said, setting down her empty laundry basket. I sat down as she gently pulled out my hairpins to repin them. "You need to calm yourself. Now what is going on?"

"Mr. Burns, the man whom I've loved and wronged is asking to see me," I said, closing my eyes as tears threatened to spill.

"You've got a lot to update me on, ma'am," Claudia chuckled as she finished my hair. 

Soon, I was ready and I left the room. Rushing down the stairs, two by two, I quickly went out the door.

Lord, give me strength, I prayed as I tried to control my breathing. What was Nicolas going to say? 

Peace, the word rang through my head and steadied my heart. 

"Peace", I repeated to myself, taking a deep breath. "You will have to give it to me, Lord."

As I neared the tree, I slowed to a fast-paced walk to see that Nicolas was indeed there. I slowed down, trying to calm my nerves. Lord, give me peace and strength. I silently prayed before reaching Nicolas. He was leaning against the tree, eyes closed, and was deep in thought.

He looked so peaceful--his face resting as the wind tossed his auburn locks around. How my heart ached for him, but I pushed it aside to face more dire matters at hand. What was he to say to me?

"Nicolas," I cleared my throat as I stood in front of him. He turned to me.