Black And Grey

8 Feelings..

     
Hey guys.. To understand this chapter,please read the previous chapter (chapter7) .. If you haven't,kindly do to avoid confusion. Thanks💜
 
I only got to see dad's lifeless body once.. I'll probably see it at the burial. All this is still hard to take in.. All the procedures are still going on in the hospital..
   
The news about the plane crash is all over the news and the government has decided to have a mass burial for everyone who lost their lives due to this crash.. I'm not gonna be in college for a while,same as work..
  
I haven't even gathered the courage to call Mrs Lambert but I'm sure Kate told her it was an emergency.. I'm in the living room,mom said I needed to come home,she said I needed rest.. She's also here,looking as pale as ever,making a phone call..
   
And Nathan,he refused to go home since I kept on crying.. He's on the couch behind me,already asleep.. I move to the couch and I take this time to absorb the sight in front of me.. He's so cute and I impulsively move my fingers along his chin,taking in his masculinity,his breath fanning my fingers.. My other hand slaps my fingers

What am I doing??

That was wrong and weird.. My mind is so messed up right now..
Mom is still on the call... Phew. I thought she saw that..
I walk to her and i cuddle beside her.. She wraps up the call and drops her phone on the table with a long sigh..

"I know this is hard,but I know we'll survive" I assure her,staring into her deep blue eyes

"I don't know if I will,but I'm definitely determined to because I have another reason to live;you"

Tears run out of my eyes again,shoot.. My eyes are starting to hurt.. I really don't want anything to happen to mom,now.. She's the only one I have left..

"Have you had anything to eat?" Mom asks

"I'm not hungry"

"Jessi-" mom starts but I cut in

"I'm not hungry, mom" I snap

She looks away,tears forming in her eyes..

"I-I'm sorry,mom" I say softly

"It's okay,Jessy.. Please,get something to eat,I remember you were tired yesterday morning, and I don't think you've had anything to eat.. Please,I can't lose you too" she says in a shaky voice

"Um.. Sure mom,I'll go make something" I say getting up reluctantly .. I really don't wanna eat.

I go to the kitchen and I start making a sandwich, of course I'm making for mom too..

I feel someone's breath fanning my neck,I turn around but I bump into Nathan's head..

"What the heck,dude" I say annoyed

He stares into my eyes and I feel so little and intimidated,it looks like he's staring into my soul and he can read everything there.. Why do I feel like this??

"Shadow fighter, I'm hungry"

"Too bad" I shrug making some sandwiches

He groans and holds my wrist,making me face him

"I'm hungry, please. Now would you be so kind to make me some sandwiches"

I look into those eyes and I feel so powerless,what's wrong with me? Nathan shouldn't be having this effect on me..

"Sure.. I'll um.. I'll make you some sandwiches"

"Thanks" he says leaning on the kitchen counter

"You can go,now" I say because I'm sure if he stays here,I won't be able to make these sandwiches..

"Am I a distraction?" He asks getting up from the counter to walk to me..

"Um.. Of course, of course not"

He lifts my chin up,I smack his hand away

"Don't touch me" I snap

"Why?"

I don't have an answer to that..

"Jessica-"

"Don't Jessica me.. Move away,Nathan" I warn

He seems taken aback.. I also don't know what's wrong with me..

"Get out,I'll bring your food when it's ready"

He moves out of the kitchen and I sigh,leaning on the counter..

I honesty don't known what's going on.. I mean,I just lost my dad..

I wrap up with the sandwiches and I take them to the living room..

"Here you go,mom" I say handing her some sandwiches

She just got off the phone with someone..
"Honey,I may have to take these to go.. There's a lot to handle" mom says

"I'm coming with you,then" I reply

"No,no.. I need you here in case anyone wants to come home.. I just wanna meet with a few people who are arranging the burial,I'll be back soon"

"Mom.... Are you sure I shouldn't come along?" I ask

"No honey,I'll be back soon"

"Okay.. But you're having your sandwiches now"

She sighs and starts eating..

"Honey,I need to go" she says

"Fine"

"I'll be back soon" she says walking to the door. She leaves and shuts the door..

I turn around, a bit startled to see Nathan.. I forgot he was here..

"Well,you asked for some sandwiches, eat"

He doesn't say anything..

"I'll be in my room"

"Wait.. Don't go,yet.. What if I need something?"

"Then you can ask me for it"

He opens his mouth to talk but I beat him to it..

"Whatever, I'll stay here" I reply rolling my eyes

He gets up and sits beside me..

"Damn. You make good sandwiches" he says munching on one..

But my mind isn't here anymore,what am I gonna  do now,dad is dead... Away from this world,no more air in his lungs,dead!!...

"Shadow fighter,what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

He gets up and is now facing me

"What's wrong?" He asks staring into my eyes,I avoid his gaze because something about eye contact just makes it interactive,deep and intimate. It's like you can understand what the person is hiding..

He bends down and looks at me..

"You'll be fine.. I know that" he says

He pulls me into a hug and I feel safe, earlier,I felt uneasy and confused but there's something about him that is welcoming.. Yes,he's not a Prince charming or my knight in shining armour but he cares and that's what friends are for..

"I feel so empty,my dad is gone,Nathan.. My mom's husband, he's gone.. Mom is a widow,Nathan.. I don't known if I'm gonna live,I don't think I can go on anymore"

"You'll be fine,Jessica.. Time will heal,and of course I'll be here for you"

Guys,I think I like Nathan..

Short chapter,I'm sorry.. Well,I hope y'all loved this chapter,emotional.. I know.. We're getting to the main part of  this story.. Please,vote and comment,thanks..

Love:Melanin3000💜💙