Come Home, Frances

C17: The Studio

Frances' POV

"About a dozen downtown
businesses were boarded up...

Glass littered sidewalks,
following two nights of protests

-over the police shooting of an..."  Jaydee's watching when I got out from our room after a deep self realization.

"Hey." I called her to get her attention. She just look at me with no reaction waiting for what I'm going to say.

"I think I'm ready to see my studio now." I can't read what she's thinking her face is blank. I guess she got tired after all.

" Will you show it to me?". I said as I continue to talk trying to gain more interest from her.

"Yeah. Come on." She finally said as she stand-up and head straight outside without looking at me. I don't know but I feel like I need her attention that I wanted it so much.

"This is the first studio
you've ever had to yourself." She said after she opened the door to 'my studio'.

"It's a cool space, huh?" She added when she saw me looking amaze as I look around. I just nod I'm completely speechless.

"You weren't sure you liked it at first, though.

Until you had this idea
to burn some smudge stick

that you bought from some guy
on the corner of Diversey.

We lit this thing
and we started waving it around

until we realized
that it was just some old pieces of lettuce." Jaydee talk just like she's trying to walk me through the life I lost.

" So, we're waving around burning lettuce." I asked trying to mocke her and she just chuckled.

" I don't know.

But it must've done the trick, though,

'cause after that,
I couldn't get you out of here.

You would come in and crank your music,
and you'd get lost in a project,

and I'd have to come and remind you
that it was nighttime.

This is one of your pieces
for the Tribune Tower series." Jaydee continue to talk about how are life used to be and I got the feeling of wanting to live again in that moment.

" What is it supposed to be?" I asked. I just want to hear Jaydee talk more.

" I'm not sure if you even knew yet.

But come here." Jaydee said while she held my waist and pull me toward her.

"J.-" She handed me a what looks like a scalpel.

"Here, just help it figure out
what it wants to be." She said while she's trying to guide my hand and standing behind me.

"Okay.

I don't...
I don't really know how to use this thing." I finally said after trying for some time.

"Sure you do. Wait, hold on.

That's better. Come on.

Just try it. It might be fun." Jaydee just won't stop. She even turn on a super loud music.

"Can you just turn down the music, please?" I said. She's putting pressure on me too much.

"I swear you used to listen to it
so much louder than this.

I never could understand
how you would just be able to focus..." She said talking about my hobbies before.

"I have a clinically bad, goddamn headache!
Please turn down the music!" I shouted at her. I saw how shocked she was of my behaviour she probably never see me like this before.

"I'm trying to help you!

But I am not your punching bag.

We don't speak to each other like this.

This is hard for me, too, Frances." Jaydee. The ever patient Jaydee finally snapped out. I guess it's times up Frances. I just look at her trying to came up with some explanation. I saw her tears fall down. My baby I'm sorry.