In Denial | Alex Turner

XLVII

Alex's POV:

"Anybody want any beer?" Matt's voice stuck out of the conversation going on in front of me. Everyone was participating in it, talking about everything we'd have to do with the new album coming our way. More than five positive replies were heard, so he decided to bring the whole eight-pack by its handle.

"Anything you can tease about it?" Monica flashed a small smile, referring to the album as she leaned back on the settee she was seated on, with Miles beside her.

"Well, there certainly is guitar in it," Jamie joked, making us all crack a smile.

"We can't tease anything," Matt spoke again, coming back from the kitchen. "This one 'ere won't let us," he added, pointed at me as he sat down beside Breana.

"It has to be a surprise," I replied in defense as her gaze locked with mine and a smirk made its way up her lips. "No one knows anything about it, just the people bein' there when we recorded," I added with a small shrug, leaning forward to catch a beer from the small wooden table in front of me.

"He likes genuine reactions, y'know," Katie added with a small smile, sat on the arm of Jamie's armchair.

"Fine, I'll leave it," she shrugged, turning her head to look at me sat on the other settee on her right.

And with that, the conversation sank into something else, helping time run by faster than we wished. It was the first time in a very long time, when we could all have fun together, laughing and talking without one of us getting frustrated and making a sort of scene. Now, it was all calm and innocent, but my mind was on her, and how I needed to talk to her.

Monica's POV:

"There was this man beside me sat in the plane, and he snorted like a fucking train," I snorted a laugh. "I couldn't even drown the sound by the music in the headphones, it was that bad," I added, making the others let out a small laugh too.

"I remember a year ago when I was on my way here, there was a big family spread behind me and in front of me on the seats, and it felt like I was a part of them, y'know," Breana smiled, recalling beside Matt. "And the air hostess even thought I was their mum!" she exclaimed, making us laugh. "I mean, do I look like a mother of three teenage boys?" she squinted her eyes with a smile.

After not hearing him for a couple of minutes, my head turned to my right to gaze towards him. He was silently watching the conversation develop, but his gaze was mostly turned towards me. He smiled as our eyes met each other's and raised his cigarette pack, a gesture that meant; "Let's go have a smoke", to which I nodded with a small smile.

"I'm going for a smoke; anyone want to join?" I stood up from beside Miles, gazing around everyone that had now stopped talking, shaking their heads with a smile.

"I'll come," Alex stood up from his settee, grabbing his leather jacket and swinging it over his shoulders, sliding his arms inside the velvet fabric of the inner part of the coat.

The conversation I'd interrupted continued without any issue as I grabbed my leather jacket and put it on smoothly, following Alex to the glass door that led to the yard of Matt's house.

In silence, we walked out of the house and out on the yard. I looked around curiously, seeing a pool right in the middle, which we walked around of, and four sunbeds by the right side of it. A barbeque also stood in the right corner of the whole yard, before the pools and sunbeds.

"First time visitin' Matt's, eh?" he looked back at me before we stopped walking to the left side of the pool, where it was a bit more dark and more silent, only the LA traffic was within earshot, and the constant chatter of the others inside.

"Yeah," I nodded with a smile. I leaned back on the brick wall behind me, and Alex stood in front of me. "He bought it recently, didn't he?" I asked, and he nodded, taking his cigarettes out.

"Yeh," he mumbled, offering me one. I pulled one out and looked at it, turning it with my fingers as he put the pack back in his pocket and opened his silver lighter.

"Parliament?" I questioned, reading the writing on the stick before looking at him again.

"Tried summat new," he shrugged, his cigarette still hanging from his lips as the silver lighter neared mine and lit it up. I mumbled a 'thank you' before I took a drag of it and let the smoke get lost in the dark sky.

"I'm guessing you bought a house here too, right?" I assumed, his gaze following mine again.

"I did," he snorted a laugh, making me chuckle, breathing out the smoke as well. "You should come over, 'ave a look," he suggested hesitantly, hiding a hint of uncertainty in his words.

"I will," I nodded with a smile, seeming to send all his worries away instantly. "Is tomorrow good for you?" I raised an eyebrow, taking a drag of the burning stick between my fingers.

"Whenever is good," he shrugged, taking a drag of his own with his familiar smirk. "But yeah, I'll be waitin' tomorrow," he nodded. "Is noon good for yer?"

"Sure," I shrugged, "I'll be there," my smirk turned into a smile as I watched his grow wider. "What have you been up to?" I changed the subject, as I was genuinely curious to hear about him.

"Nothing much, really," he shrugged. Suddenly, he leaned closer, making my breath get caught in my throat as a million thoughts passed my head, but he just grabbed the ashtray from beside me and leaned back again, knocking the unwanted ash off his cigarette. 

"Just tourin' and then recordin'," he added. "Then pubs, events, and such," he explained, looking back at me. "All dull without yer criticizing all the rich arses," he said, resulting in me to laugh, remembering of how I'd spent a whole evening making fun of an old man at an event of theirs, who was only talking about the money he made, and nothing else. "You?"

"Literally nothing," I snorted a laugh. "Work, home, work, home," I replied. "Though I did reunite with Coralie, you remember her?" I questioned, not expecting him to as I'd only told him about her once, and that was the first time we ever visited LA altogether.

"You did?" his smile grew wider, speaking as if he was proud of me, so he did remember. "That's great! Why didn't you bring her along?"

"She said she'd be bothering if she did come along," I explained with a smile. "And she wanted me to reunite with you all without worrying about her," I added, and he nodded understandingly.

"We need to meet 'er though," he said after taking what seemed like the last drag of his cigarette.

"Maybe when you're all back in New York," I shrugged, but then tilted my head. "Will you ever be back in New York?" I asked, a bit more worried this time.

He shrugged sadly, "I don't know," he looked at me with a sad smile. "I did sell the house, as you know, but we'll be there as a part of the tour," he explained, and I nodded, taking the last drag of my cigarette before putting it out at the same time as him in the brown ashtray.

Silence soon followed as both of us didn't want to get back inside. We both wanted to talk, we really did, we just couldn't figure out the way. So, we just looked at each other, both of us with the same hopeless expression painted across our faces.

"I missed you," I spoke, letting the words slip out without thinking it through before my mouth formed a smile, and he tried to contain his.

"I missed you too."