twenty three

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"What if I'm pregnant?"

"You're not pregnant."

"I'm so irresponsible! So are you!"

"I agree. It was stupid."

"No. I was stupid."

"We were stupid."

We both stared at the box that would save us from a lifetime of endless possibilities. Harvey looked at me and I knew it was time to make a decision which should have been obvious but the fear that it wouldn't work made me hesitant.

"I told you twelve times that I will buy it." I finally looked over at him and nodded. He grabbed the pill and we walked up to the check out counter like two irresponsible idiots.

"I have to get the pharmacist in order to scan this." The boy behind the counter looked at both of us with a smile. "He'll explain all the possible risks and side effects then ask a few question and you both should be on your way."

The second he left, my nerves started bouncing out of control again. What if he says something that I didn't see in the research I did on the way here? What if he says it's too late and I'll have to come face to face with my new reality?

"Hello! So have you taken this before?" The older man asked. I quickly shook my head trying not to come off as jittery. "Well, the sooner you take it then the more effective it will be. It's normal to have light bleeding or feel a little nauseous. Every body is different. If you don't have any questions then we can move forward."

Harvey cleared his throat while nervously rubbing his neck. "Bleeding? What does that mean? Is it internal?" I looked up at him like he was crazy and so did the doctor. "Never mind. Sounds like it doesn't concern me."

The older man scanned the box then his badge but right before Harvey could pay with a card, the man held up a finger. "You two have a nice day and..." He then turned around and grabbed a box of condoms off the shelf before turning back around to scan them. Harvey swiped his card once as the pharmacist handed me our bag of items. "Bye, now!"

We didn't say a single word until we were in the privacy of his car with the pill and water in my hands.

"Before you take it, you should have asked him how soon is too soon?"

"He said the sooner I take it the more effective it is."

"But it's been two hours. What if things are still..."

"Harvey. I'm pretty sure he would have told me that I should wait a certain amount of time-"

"He tells many people a lot of things. He most likely forgot."

I stared at him as if he could be right but mostly wrong. I'm not an idiot. I did my research on these things and that pharmacist did not tell me anything that the internet hadn't told me. If I walk in there right now and ask a stupid question that Harvey came up with then the man would only think I failed at being a woman.

"I'm taking it." With no hesitation, I popped the pill in my mouth and chased it with water. Harvey let out a sigh of relief then turned to face the stirring wheel. "Can we both agree to never do that again?"

He nodded slowly. "Don't think we'd have to. They should make it a law to purchase condoms with every emergency contraception. I think people would stop fucking if it was so expensive."

I rolled my eyes and quickly put on my seat belt. It was fairly late and I had to be home. I told my mom I was going to Harvey's house and if I didn't return until the morning then I'd be digging my own grave with a gun to my head.



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