The lady in Red (REWRITTEN!)

Chapter 50

HATE— strong emotion meant to destroy and hurt. I wished that I hated him. It would have been nice if my feeble little heart was strong enough to endure such an intense emotion, but it was not. Because it wasn't true. I didn't hate him. I couldn't hate this ruthless man even if I wanted to. He was a beautiful monster that extracted revenge just for me. A feeble little me couldn't have justified what was right and what was wrong, but he knew, and that's what he did. He killed for me. He was there for me. He did this all for me.

Can I hate a man I was falling hard far? A sob unexpectedly broke out of my throat, but I caught it before he heard me.

He almost killed you, Catherine. This is what he does. He doesn't see straight. He's a monster.

My stomach sank deep into the cold reality. Taking a step back, I stumbled away from him. My body turned cold. The stormy eyes of the man watching me in the dark didn't prevent me from putting distance between us. A sharp exhalation escaped me as my lungs burned again. A small distance I put between us gave me a little bit of clarity, but my gaze did not waver from his. The pain in my heart was unbearable. In an unconscious gesture, my hand went around my throat, rubbing the skin that was just touched moments ago. With my other hand, I tried to wipe away my tears, but I couldn't stop them from falling. In my honor, he killed. Would he also kill me if I eradicated myself from his life?

"Would you hurt me, Reece? Would you hurt me too if I left you?" His gaze went to my throat, and his eyes flashed once more. He stared lethally, as new storms raged in his gaze. It was hard not to wonder what triggered him the most. The fact that I asked if he would end my life, or the fact that I essentially told him that I was leaving him? Neither felt right in my belly, but I needed to know. His heat was almost palpable, and I could feel it dripping down my back. Dean was not someone to mess with, and certainly not someone to trigger. That became apparent to me very quickly. But would this be feasible for me? What would life be like without him? Even the mere thought of it made my heart ache, and my eyes burned. After a minute passed between us, I heard a deep sigh. I felt my skin tingle with knowledge, and my heart fluttered with awareness. In what seemed like a matter of seconds, Reece stepped back, putting more distance between us, and walked by the bar again with his back to me. Within the chaotic silence, he poured himself another glass of whiskey and turned to face me.

"I would never purposely hurt you, Catherine. But this is who I am. I'm chaotic, ruthless, and a businessman. This is how I handle my business. I'm not proud of what I did to you, and my rage wasn't towards you. But I can't change myself. If I know someone is going to come after you, it makes my blood boil. I will not stop hurting those who have hurt you, Catherine. If you think I will hurt you in the process if you ever came in my way then...yes. I will hurt you. And if you leave me...I will kill you." A strong conviction that did not waver. Those words fluttered in my heart and raced through my mind. A complex battle between fear and heat filled my body, and I went into shock.

My first reaction to his brutal confession should have been to bolt from the room. I should have fled the moment he said his truth, but I couldn't. I was paralyzed by shock, and every cell in my body twitched in defiance. The man held no boundaries--he was brutal, brusque, and powerful. Standing where I was, I became extremely dizzy - but rather than screaming bloody murder and bolting out, I took measured steps towards him. Moments after getting closer to him, my skin became prickled with goosebumps and my belly clenched. A combination of fear and heat nearly threw me off balance. When I stepped between his legs, his domineering presence loomed over me. An expression of shock, surprise, and amusement flashed across his face before settling back to his usual cool demeanor.

"Then hurt me,"I didn't know why I was antagonizing him. I meant everything I said, and yet I couldn't find myself to back away from him. His eyes were full of challenges, daring me to take another step away from him and towards the door. I should have done exactly what his eyes were threatening me to do, but for some reason I couldn't move.

"Are you really prepared to run away from someone you love?" He scoffed. I took a step back, startled, as an unexpected sob ruptured from my throat. Another step back, and I lost my balance and fell, the impact knocking the air out of me. He stepped towards me with a casual stance and bent to his knees to acknowledge that I was panting on his freshly waxed floor.

"You're wrong," I said. His eyes narrowed momentarily before he finally leaned forward. In an instant, I felt the heat radiating from his palms as his hand reached out to grasp my cheek. As I closed my eyes to escape his storm, he gripped my chin and tilted my face up so he could see what he had done more clearly.

"Is it pure ignorance, or are you just that unaware of what you feel? You can run from it all you want, but I can see it in your eyes."

"Stop," I whispered. It is my truth that has come to light. I didn't want to confess anything, but this was Reece Dean. He knew everything, and in no way was anything hidden. With him, however, lines were always blurred. I couldn't think straight with him. He felt righteous despite all his wrongs. But why? Why wasn't it possible for me to just walk away from him? Why were my feelings for him a barbwire, twisting my insides until it pained? The adrenaline surged inside me again, and my body sparked into life. I didn't know what came over me, but the next thing I knew I was off the floor, and pushing him back until his back was against the floor and I was straddling him. Insisting on his utmost attention, I bent low until I was in his face. I surprised both of us with my action. Despite his amusement, he was left stunned, and why wouldn't he be? My back-talking, multiple slaps, and now straddling him were everything I could never have imagined myself doing.

"I don't love you!" I bellowed. But I did. I loved him so goddamn much it hurt.

"Little liar," he countered back, before clamping his hand around my throat, pushing me off, and climbing on top me.

"I don't love you," I sobbed. He swiped at my tears, and leaned down.

"You fucking love me."