The lady in Red (REWRITTEN!)

Chapter 56

  The decision to flee from the headquarters was painful like a spear. I felt the piercing pain of guilt in my belly, my heart, and all the organs surrounding it. I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn't tell if my decision to keep this away from him was right or wrong. My heart, however, told me otherwise. My body had one organ that gave me hope for a happy future. He might accept my baby and I as a family. Although there was a possibility for a happy future, there was also chaos to contend with. He might kill me or he might accept me. He would either tell me to prevent the child from coming into the world, or to let it. Ultimately, he would either accept both of us or leave us behind.

Keeping this secret away from him would either intel a very pissed off Reece, or a very understanding one. I felt the uncertainty as if it was a flicker of flame that licked my body with intense heat. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I slashed them and made my way outside. I was just two steps away from the streets when my phone suddenly rang in my pocket. I almost tripped due to the vibration of my phone, but I caught myself in time. Leaning against the tree, I grabbed my phone and took a break.

It was wrong of me to run away from him, but I did despite knowing what would befall me. Looking at the name on the phone brought back another round of discomfort in my stomach. Even though I wanted to pick up the phone and tell him everything, the risk of seeing a whole new side of him kept me from doing so. Instead, I returned the phone to my pocket and continued walking. The vibrations and the rings never subsided, and I was certain that either I had concerned him or pissed him off. Walking further allowed me to clear my head. But, when I got to the nearby park, an icy chill ran down my back. A rush of goosebumps appeared on my skin, and my heart accelerated, triggering my fight or flight response. An unexplainable emotion rushed through me. Fear. Frightful, ice-cold terror. The cold almost liquefied my bones and blood vessels. The feeling was unnatural. It felt like someone was watching me, watching me in a way that wasn't right. I felt bone chilling awareness.

My head turned, searching in all directions to avoid finding the one thing I didn't want to find. The possibilities of finally being found here in the middle of Brattle Street hijacked my brain, kicking out the uncertainty of the future from my pregnancy. I was hyperaware of my surroundings now, watching out for anything suspicious in every direction. When I found nothing unusual, I picked up my pace and walked away from the avenue. In any case, at least now I had a profile of people surrounding me, and that alone helped me feel safer. My legs were so sore that I called for a taxi instead of walking home. A sudden attack of nausea caused tears to spring back into my eyes, but I fought the nausea and closed my eyes to calm my heart.

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It was as if I was getting sick all over again. After the taxi dropped me off, I retrieved my phone and glanced through the missed calls. There were six missed calls from Reece, and two from Greta. In lieu of calling them, I went inside and made myself a hot cup of tea. My stomach churned as the silence in the living room thickened. I sipped my tea slowly and closed my eyes. I knew the stress was hurting the baby. Although I did not know how far along I was, I tried to meditate to even out my breathing because I didn't want to risk anything. However, my subconscious kept shouting at me.

Stupid, Catherine! Tell him or it's your funeral. Don't keep this from him!

Reece left a long voicemail. I prepared myself as I clicked on it, and his voice blared through.

THERE BETTER BE A VALID EXPLANATION TO WHY YOU ARE NOT PICKING UP MY CALLS. I HAVE ANOTHER MEETING IN TEN MINUTES. IF I DON'T SEE YOUR PHONE CALL BY THE TIME I'M THROUGH WITH THE MEETING...SO HELP ME, GOD. PLEASE. CALL ME BACK.

I royally pissed him off, and it was my fault. This was the wrong thing to do. Rather than listening to my heart, I listened to my brain, and it caused far more chaos than I anticipated. I wasn't the type of woman to go behind anybody's back, regardless of the situation, and this wasn't something I was supposed to keep from him. I owed him this, regardless of what he'd do with it. It wasn't about him or me anymore. I dialed his number with a solid apology already brewing in my head. I knew the meeting had already started, but he picked up within two rings, surprising me. He was waiting for my call.

"Catherine," he clipped, sternly, cautiously, keeping a lethal emotion at bay. I swallowed a dry lump that formed down my throat.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Two things. I need an honest answer."

"Okay."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, sir." No. Physically, yes. Mentally, no.

"Why did you walk out?"

"I needed time to think," I replied, honestly, my heart hammering painfully against my chest.

"What's going on? Talk to me."

"I...I can't tell you over the phone. We'll talk when you get off?" I watched dark clouds loom over tall trees and small houses outside my window. There was a faint whistling sound coming from the wind. The town was enveloped in darkness by an ominous shadow.

"What's this about, baby?" Baby. Goosebumps tingled on my skin as my stomach galloped. His sudden change in tone had me sinking deeper into the sofa cushions. 

"Can I come over when you're off?" I softly spoke, fidgeting with the bottom of my blouse, nervously.

"If there is something wrong—"

"I'm fine. It's okay. I'm okay. Just need a little rest," I reasoned. Silence filled the room followed by a deep sigh. He didn't buy my reassurance. You can't hide anything from him. When will I ever learn that?

"I'll come pick you up at eight."

"Okay."

"Get some rest. I'll see you when I get off."

"Okay," I replied weakly. I slumped back, and we disconnected the phone. My tired body was unable to cope. It was just a matter of getting some rest so that I could gain some strength before he got off. Maybe I was overthinking, overanalyzing, and overworking myself for nothing. A little sleep might rejuvenate me. Greta was coming home late tonight, so I had the apartment to myself. I needed the peace and quiet. I needed to rest for this baby.

I needed to become numb just for tonight.