All Mine: True Love (Book 3) (Completed)

Chapter 19: Two Months Later

**Dean's POV**

I want to say that I behaved at her funeral, but I didn't. I snapped and I snapped badly. I didn't snap at our family or close friends it was the others, more so the gossiping women who made a point to talk badly about me around her. I pretty much asked why they are even here they didn't like her nor knew her. I guess saying it at the gravesite wasn't kind but hey I wasn't in the mood to be kind to anyone that day.

I don't remember much of that day, just that the boys all were crying or screaming wanting their mom, and seeing photo's of her all over the place really didn't help nor did they understand, that's the part that hurts the most they do not understand nor would they have any memories of her. I have made a vow to make sure they will always know who she is, living in this house is so hard I can still feel her around me.

Smell her still only faint I haven't been able to pack anything of hers away, to be honest, I am happy to have her things still in our room. Not like I am ever going to have another in this room with me. Each child still has a clothing item or something of hers in their room or bed it helps them a little, well that is what I think. One thing I am over is these women coming to my workplace or our house with baked food savory or sweet hoping that they can be the next Mrs. McCarthy really isn't going to happen, there will only be one.

Only at work part-time I cannot do full time yet, probably won't be able to until these boys are older or when I can put them into day-care right now, I just cannot bring myself to do that. My dad has moved into the spare room just to help me out during the nights, I made it nights only. I didn't even want him living here, he forced himself into our house. He said he's only here until I stop spacing out, I am spacing out less and less but every now and then I find myself missing chunks of time. Mainly at times, even Jamie has opted to spend nights at my house he has tried to sleep in my bed but after I gave him a black eye his happy to sleep on the floor in my room. No one sleeps on her side of the bed unless it's our boys.

Chad and Paige have made it their mission to help me out whenever they see fit too, I don't mind but they have twins on the way and don't need to keep helping me out. Chad insists that if it had been Paige I and Dana would have done the same thing, and yes, he is right we would have. I just don't like feeling helpless and that is what I am right now helpless without the love of my life here with me. 

The twins have now started asking for me when they are upset, which hurts to hear them no longer asking for her. I just hope they do have some sort of memory of her, poor Aidan won't have any only those three photos we have of him right after he was born, and when we got into the room when we named him. Sadly, I wish we got a family photo of us five together, but I cannot think like that right now.

"Dean are you awake?" My dad asked, I sat up a little bit more in the chair looking at him tiring to figure out what he is on about. "I have been trying to get your attention for the last ten minutes," Dad said sounding worried, "Fuck sorry dad," I said, "I'm not going to tell you it will get easier; I know it won't. But it does get easier to live each day as time goes on." Dad said I want to scoff but I know that is being rude, "Yeah doubt that will ever happen." I said, "Now I will be moving back home soon as you need to learn how to live on your own with your boys." My dad said ignoring what I had said, "I know this day was coming." I said quietly, "Dean now I know you are going through hell right now. I wish you and the boys never had to go through this but you are. Now when I leave, I need you to get this into your head boy. Those boys need all your attention they have lost one parent don't make them feel like they have lost both. Now I am not being mean son, life is going to be hard, but when it becomes too hard call me and I will help." Dad said, "Hard? Are you kidding me right now it's hell pure fucking hell!" I snapped at him.