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Cari

Her anger seemed to be something outside herself, something she couldn't reel back. Not that she wanted to. Cari embraced it, fed it by remembering the pain of being so far from her mate. The loneliness that swamped over her despite not being alone at all. Most of all she thought about the impending loss of her cousin.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath to calm herself, and felt her wolf rise. It was pissed, even more so than she was. With another deep breath she took the mental steps back to the still pool of power that resided deep inside her.

She was far from ready to face the rawness that had come with interacting with it. Being laid bare like that was like having her soul peeled layer by layer while she writhed her protest and pain to an uncaring world. Just the thought of it was enough to make her sweat.

Yet Cari knew it was past time she stood up. Past time she showed who she was beyond the doormat she'd portrayed. No one knew where they were. Even if they did, how could they even find them let alone rescue them? So it fell on them to free themselves, on her to bring the chaos that'd afford them the chance.

So she made the internal journey back, taking deep breaths to calm the nerves that rode her mental self. It wasn't long until she once more stood at the edge of that deep blue pool of magic. She couldn't see the other side of it, had no idea how deep it was but she walked into its radiance.

It was the worst torture she could've imagined.

With the first touch of the magic to her toes her memories swamped over her with painful clarity. The tiny little slights that shattered her young soul during her childhood, shaped her. She felt the pain she'd felt then, the insecurity.

Cari walked on, bracing herself. She recalled the time when her older brother Trip had stopped being the loving older brother she'd known and started ignoring her. All the times her sister had left her behind when she'd said they would go out together.

It went on, flaying her until she was reduced to a hopeless template who saw no purpose to existence. He mind fractured to a thousand pieces that became swept away by the storm of hurts she'd endured in her life. How had she even been able to stand before?

Like an automaton that had been wound and set towards a direction, Cari kept on moving. Bent in some way under the pressure yet with nothing else to do. At some level she was aware the pool had swallowed her, yet she still breathed, if a mental awareness could. It took her a while to realize the nature of her memories had changed, that she was no longer being crushed under the weight of past pain.

Once again she experienced the comfort of running into her father's ready arms, of her uncle Dan lifting her up high at some accomplishment. She cuddled with her mother as they read some book, went climbing with her aunt Walela. Once more she had a food fight with her brother Vin, chased Dan after he'd stolen some food from her. Trip encouraging her when she'd wanted to give up. Hiking with her maternal grandfather and listening to old stories from her grandmother.

She experienced the rush of skiing down a mountain with her former friend Annie and Dani bracketing her. Then there were the bittersweet memories of all the times she and Claire had shared confidences under the blankets while sneaking in treats. The times they'd cried to share a bed. The time when they'd been inseparable.

All the good memories filled her up until she was more than whole, more than she'd ever thought she was. She understood then that her power was one of connection. Serenity. All her life she'd thought that its limit was soothing the emotional and or mental health of those around her. Yet she had more than just that. More than she was ready to acknowledge as it made her too different from her race.

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