a/n: Sorry its been forever since I have updated! I had exams this past week and i've been busy with those. Hope you are liking the story so far. Birthday tomorrow, party at my house! I love you guys. :)
-Luke-
It was Tuesday morning, meaning I had school today. I was dreading on going. Maybe I could pretend I was sick and stay home. But then again, I didn't trust myself being home alone. I could hear the voices in my head whispering into my ear. Making me turn my head and expecting someone to be there, but found no one. I ignored them and got ready for school. I didn't want to wear a long sleeved shirt today, but I had to unless I wanted everyone to see my cuts. I found ashtons shirt that I wore home from his house last night. Yes it was short sleeved but it smelled like him and it made me smile. As weird as that sounded I put it on. I just had to figure out on what to do with my cuts. I could wrap them but that would be a little obvious...or maybe it wouldn't. I had a few bracelets to cover my arms. I never bought many because my sleeves covered my arms.
I decided to do both. Wrapping my arms and then putting on the bracelets. They were just random band bracelets. I put on a pair of sweats, not wanting to wear my normal outfit with skinny jeans. I guess you could say I was going to have a 'lazy day' as most people call it. I looked into the mirror and wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. I looked so bad, I was fat. I looked so big, my arms looked weird with them being wrapped and then bracelets over them. My neck was covered in marks from Ashton. A small smile on my face from going back and picturing last night. There were slight bruises on my arms and plenty underneath my shirt, correction Ashtons shirt. From those people that hate me, those people that make me hate myself. Then again I deserved these. I deserved the pain, and I liked it.
I checked the time and realized I was going to be late. I shoved my phone in my pocket, happy that these sweats had pockets. I passed the kitchen as my stomach made a noise. I was hungry, I could easily admit it. I couldn't eat though. If I ate to much I would get fat, hell I couldn't even hold down a sandwich I would easily throw it up. But if I ate to little I could pass out or something like that. Not sure what exactly happens in that situation. The house was quiet, the only sound was the clock in the hallway ticking away. I grabbed a cracker out of the box on the table. I don't know why they were always left on the table, but they were. I left the house, hoping I would at least make it in time for some of first hour.
I walked into the office, looking at the time there was thirty minutes left of class. Even though I didn't do anything in my classes, I still liked to be there and on time. I remember one year I missed so much school that the cops came to my house. It happened right after my parents died, my brother explained and they let us off. Apparently they have to come and make sure everything is okay in the household, but nothing was okay. Not with me anyways.
"Have a good day Mr. Hemmings." Amy, the attendance lady smiled at me while handing me my pass to class. I gave her a small smile back. Not saying anything I left the office. I liked Amy, she was an older woman and reminded me of my grandma who had died when I was around eight.
I started to panic with every step I took towards my class. I knew as soon as I knocked on the door, and stepped into class all attention would be on me. I hated being the person everyone was focused on. I just didn't like it. I knocked on the door and was greeted by a girl named Lisa. She gave me a small smile, I didn't return it. Lisa has known me for years, but we weren't close at all. I guess you could say we were never actual friends. I almost laughed to myself but didn't. The room fell silent as I walked in. I looked over to my teachers desk and saw that we had a sub. Half relieved and half worried of what would happen in the class. The sub was a middle aged man, I walked over to him and gave him my pass.
"Luke, nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Snell. Here's the worksheet. Its supposedly what you guys have been working on. Sit wherever you would like." I just nodded and turned to see everyone staring at me.
Or maybe it was the marks on my neck, or maybe even the fact that people knew I was wearing Ashtons shirt. I mean he only wore it yesterday and I was wearing it today. I started to feel self-conscious. Or maybe it was beacause no one has seen me ever wear a shirt that wasn't long sleeved. My eyes met familiar brown ones and I put my head down making my way towards him. He was alone in the back of the room, I was happy that nobody was bothering him but sad at the same time. As I sat down next to him people went back to talking, the room going from dead silence to people talking louder then they should.
"You look good in my shirt babe." He whispered into my ear.
I knew my cheeks were red at his comment. People kept looking back at us. I knew it wasn't because of the usual reason, it was because we both had noticeable love bites from one another. Anyone could easily look at us and knew we were together. Ashton must have thought I didn't want to talk so he started on his worksheet. I just let mine sit on the table. Not really caring. I turned to face Ashton, he was biting his lip trying to figure out something. He looked exhausted. He had bags under his eyes and I felt like a bad boyfriend. He said he would be there for me if I was there for him. So as a worried boyfriend I poked him, causing him to look at me. He gave me a small smile.
'What's wrong babe?" I looked into his eyes and I could see how worried he was.
Maybe I shouldn't ask him what was wrong. Maybe it was a personal reason and would get mad at me for asking. "I just wanted to ask you if everything was okay? You um..look really tired and I said that I would be there for you and if you don't want to tell me thats fine I was just wor-" He put his hand over my mouth, letting out a small laugh.
"Luke babe, everything is fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night." I knew he was lying, I knew something was wrong. I was about to ask him again but didn't. I knew I wouldn't like it if someone kept asking me so I just nodded. He gave me a reassuring smile and went back to work. I was worried about Ashton, I just wanted to be a good boyfriend. I just wanted to be good enough.
