𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

when monsters meet their fate- sirius

There had been times where I thought about it. Times, where I played with the idea like, I 'd fiddle with the keys of a piano- senselessly, thoughtlessly, naturally. I'd be a liar if I were to ever deny it, deny the notion, deny the desire, deny that it was the only way we'd escape. Though, it never went further than a second of consideration. I never harbored the concept for too long for fear it becomes a reality, fear I'd be lighting a match that could suffocate my darkness. But I hadn't simply lit a match. No. I had been standing in the flames for years now, watching him burn, and as the flames touched my skin, I had finally granted myself the freedom. With his limp body at my feet, I realized that I never had to think about it at all, I could just do it. I had allowed myself the development of a hypothesis sanctified by its resolution, because what had it made me, what had I become, or rather what have I always been?

Sirius's hands were gentle, urgent still, as he removed the wand from my fingers, grip faltering only when his face came into view. My eyes fleeing the scene in front of me as I could hear the screaming, the desperate cries begging to escape the horrors left behind in the wakes of their slaughter.

"Are you hurt?" he breathed, desperately searching for air, the magical remnants of a spell nearly fatal tugging at the reddened flesh of his neck. I shook my head, surprised at my coherency as the room seemed to move slower than my thoughts, slower than my reality sinking into the deepest corners of my mind, searching for it. Searching for the parts of me that should be chastised by guilt and feeble regret, but in my hunt I found none, I found only cowardly sparks of relief. "We need to get you out of here," he told me, and my brows furrowed, he was concerned for me. Concerned about the aftermath my actions would have on my fragile mind, fragility brought on purely by the man lying lifeless, breathless among the ashes of the world he sat fire to- my world, mine.

"Is he dead?" I managed, voice more controlled than it should be, thoughts clearer than I should allow them to be. Sirius paused, eyes trailing to meet mine, and I should be appalled by the darkness he might see, appalled by the version of myself I allowed to escape from the depths of my soul where I'd hidden it from view. "Tell me."

"Yes," he answered quickly, hand on my chin as he stopped me from looking, though I could hear the scuffle as his body was thrown onto the pile, a fire being lit soon after and I couldn't fight how pleased I was by the perfect irony of it all. "It wasn't your fault, Y/n," he began, and his forehead creased in an expression of sincere emotion, something that ought to have brought me comfort. "He was with them, you had to do it." he shook his head, tears in his eyes as he pointlessly wept for my soul. "If you hadn't killed him, he would've killed us all."

"Oh, Sirius," I shook my head, hands molding around his bloodied cheeks. "We do not weep when monster meets their fate, we rejoice."

"He's your father, Y/n, you have every right to be upset by his death."

"No," I objected, and I dropped my hands from his body, stepping back to see the crowds searching desperately for the bodies of their loved ones, death eaters having left few alive to search in the first place. "He was not my father. He was a man with whom I shared nothing but blood and kin, not love, not comfort, not the pathetic bond of family. He was a monster, a rabid dog biting at the air in search of my skin and now, he's nothing but ash, he's nothing but the memory of darkness consumed by itself and in its absence, only light remains."

"His death brought you light?"

"His death brought me everything."