𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

shadows of the night- sirius

The remnants of Sirius' time in Azkaban were still tugging at his mind, they always would be, though, some days were harder than others. Some days, the shadows would creep out along with the sun and find a hiding place in his dreams. You'd learned to recognize the signs. Sirius would hide it well, as he'd always been able to do, but you knew him better than he'd ever allowed himself to admit, and you'd always be the first to notice his façade slipping.

"Thank you for coming," you smiled, Remus doing the same as he walked with you to the door, pausing to spare a glance in the direction of the living room, brows furrowed as he watched Sirius take another sip from his glass, unsteady hand nearly spilling the drink all over his clothes.

"How is he adjusting?" Remus asked softly, sympathetic eyes evaluating his friend's every move.

"Some days are better than others," you replied, tone matching his as you already knew the sight he would meet. "I'm taking good care of him, Rem, promise."

"I know that," he assured you and gently squeezed your shoulder. "I wouldn't doubt that for a second, Y/n. If there's anywhere, I'd trust him to be safe, it would be right at your side," he sighed. "I worry about him, is all, after what he had to endure. I can only imagine."

"Another, please," you heard your husband demand, the elf merely nodding in understanding before rushing to the kitchen to retrieve another bottle of fire whiskey.

"I should-"

"Yes, of course," Remus agreed, sending you away with another squeeze to your shoulder, gaze following you as you sat down on the arm of the sofa next to Sirius.

"Hi, darling," you mused, gentle hands sifting through his curls as you took the newly filled glass from his hands and placed it on the side table. "Did you have fun?" you questioned carefully, and a lazy smile slipped onto his lips.

"Hmm," he hummed, and he looked to the now empty doorway. "It's always nice to see old Moony."

"It sure is," you paused as your hands found his. "Shall we go to bed my love?" the question received the same reply as it usually did, a mere nod and a fallen smile as he rose to his feet, arm slung around your waist as he stumbled to the bedroom at your side.

Sirius was hesitant, he always was around this time of the day. He'd hold it off for as long as possible, but he could only distract you for so long, he could only avoid the certainty of his dreaded nights for so long. He paused, preparing himself as if it would do any good other than prolonging the inevitable

"I'm right here," you reminded him softly, his tired eyes barely meeting yours as he offered you a soft nod, your hands on his waist as you guided him to his side of the bed. "Want to keep this on?" you asked as your fingers tugged on the hem of his t-shirt.

"Please," he breathed, a sullen tone to his voice as he gritted a response, a sound you'd grown accustomed to. "You shouldn't stay," he mumbled as you lifted the blanket for him to settle down and though your frown was prominent, you'd need more to convey your disapproval of his request.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Y/n, please," he sighed, dragging his eyes along your path as you walked around the bed to get in next to him.

"Sirius, we have this discussion every night."

"It has been a long day," he admitted and with the touch of your hand to his chest, you felt his entire body tense, contrasting the usual reaction your comfort provided.

"Exactly, why I should stay," you nodded lightly, gently moving the blanket higher over his body as he rested his head on his pillow, eyelids heavy from the strain of a day lived in the past. "Get some rest, my love, I'll be here if you need me."

He breathed a sigh of defeat, hand reaching blindly in search of yours, soft sighs escaping his lips when your fingers entwined with his.

You'd watched him for a while, considered his breathing, his careful shifts as he tried to the best of his abilities to fall asleep, success only being reached once you hesitantly moved closer to him, nimbly guiding him into your arms for as long as his sleepless dreams would allow him to, but the terrors found him, they always did.

"Sirius," you breathed carefully from the other side of the bed, hand hovering over him as you considered touching his squirming figure, remembering how much worse it made the situation the previous time. "Sirius, you need to wake up," you commanded, louder and with more urgency as tears met the surface of his cheeks, trails of wetness being created as he shifted against the pillow, body tense as he forced his hands together. "Sirius, please," you begged shifting onto your knees as you delicately pried the blanket off him, pausing when his startled eyes met your own.

"Y/n?" he gasped, hands doing what yours wanted as he desperately searched for your touch. "Y/n," he concurred with a relieved sigh as he pulled you down to him, still heaving as your head laid atop his chest, heart thumping in your ear.

"You're safe," you whispered, kissing his chest lightly, hands still tightly gripped in his as you allowed him to hold you as he deemed most comforting. "You're safe, Siri, we're at home and I'm here, you're safe."

You repeated the little statement of assurance more than you'd even realized, only faltering when he relaxed in your hold, hands freeing yours only for them to fall into his hair, fingers tugging at the curls and scratching his scalp to soothe him.

"Do you think it'll be like this forever?" he mumbled after the silence of the room became suffocating, his fingers tracing soft trails up and down your arm. "Do you think I'll live the rest of my life haunted by moments I had been sure I'd ran from?"

"I don't know," you admitted sheepishly, breaking at the tone of his voice, the hopelessness, the exhaustion. "I wish I did. Wish I could take it all away. Wish I could take away all the pain, scare away all your demons."

"Some demons are part of you," he countered, your mind racing with words to object but he used his pointed finger to carefully lift your face to force your gaze to meet his. "Though, angels tend to follow behind them," he noted with the whisper of a smile tugging at his lips. "I don't believe I've ever expressed how much it means to me that you're here, that you've so stupidly decided to face the shadows with me. Anyone else would've left and surely they'd have deserved better- you, deserve better."

"There is nowhere else I'd rather be than in the darkness with you, " you explained, and he raised a brow. "Shadows cannot exist without light, Sirius, and I don't know when, but the light will find us again."

"Oh, I think it's closer than we know," he mused, shaking his head as he leaned down to kiss you, smiling against your lips as he hovered close. "I love you, angel."

"I love you too, Siri."