A/N: bitch yall have got to mentally prepare for this chapter
~~~~
I arrived home 30 minutes ago.
I spent the whole drive hyping myself up and convincing myself to tell Ashton. Even though Flo didn't know the whole story, she was right. It's his choice to be in a relationship with me (if that's where this goes) and if thinks that I'm too much and breaks up with me then I'll deal with it. Just like I deal with everything.
I've spent the last thirty minutes since I arrived home drawing. I draw a hand holding a beating heart. I don't add color just a lot of shading. Determining that it's ready I fold it over and write "To: Pretty Boy From: Livvy".
I put the drawing into my purse and grab my phone and the keys, telling my dad I'll be back soon.
I get into my car and start driving.
I have a plan with the drawing, of course. That plan consists of me giving it to him and then pretty much just being honest about my feelings. I don't have much of an idea of what I'll say, I hope it turns out well.
Maybe I should have planned something to say. Some way to explain what I feel. Some way to stop myself from backing out.
I don't have time to do this though as I pull up to his house.
I take a deep breath and knock.
He opens the door and as soon as he sees me, starts to close it.
I stick my foot out, forcing the door open, and walk into his house. He glared at me as I close the door behind me.
"I have to give you something." I tell him, and reach for my purse and take out the picture.
He reads it and I see his eyes soften at me writing pretty boy. When he unfolds it he lets out an audible gasp. I didn't think it was that good. I liked it but it clearly wasn't my best work since I drew it in 30 minutes.
"It's beautiful. I don't know what to say. I can't believe you drew this you are insanely talented." He sounds so sincere.
"Thank you." I take a deep breath and just start staring things I feel. "I am not someone who is good with relationships. I never have been. I've never been good at admitting my feelings because when I'm not in control of something, I'm scared. I'm scared of what I feel for you. I've always been infatuated with you but I never thought you reciprocated the feelings. And then I did think you reciprocated the feelings and I didn't want you to get hurt because I'm so fucked in the head that it wouldn't be fair to dump all that on you." He starts to open his mouth but I cut him off.
"Let me speak. I have feelings for you that I have never had for anyone else. I feel this overwhelming sense of needing to be near you at all times. Anytime I'm in your presence I'm somehow calm. You have changed me in the short amount of time that you've been in my life. That might sound like a lot to you because maybe your feelings aren't as strong but at least I'll have been honest. About all of this." I finish this entire statement off.
"How could you think it isn't as strong for me?" He takes a step closer to me. "I used to use reading as an escape from the world but now I only use you. I used to like knowing facts because it gave me a sense of security but now only you do that. I used to need to be alone after hanging out with people all day but now I only need to be with you. You have become the center of my universe." He takes another step towards me. "You have taken gravity's place as the thing that tied me to this earth."
I don't realize I have tears in my eyes until he wipes them away.
He presses his lips against mine.
~~~~
A/N: BITCHES ITS FINALLY HAPPENING CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT BECAUSE I CANT AND IVE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR DAYS
Once I get up to chapter 40 I will definitely be taking a break because I feel like this goal was just me overworking myself and at this point I'm good with it because I can do single updates every night and we'll make it but I'm still very ready for a break especially since classes are starting on Thursday and then I'll have that to focus on.
I'm going to be coming back to this though (and if I forget please comment here and remind me that you're here and want an update if you even read this)
Anyways this was honestly so fun to write these romantic lines that are too cute because it's literally all I want to be said to me (lmao we love writing romance books when you've never been in real love where you feel like you've met youre soulmate )
kisses 💋
x
YOU ARE READING
nothing without you
Romance"I try so hard to be just friends but you sure don't make it easy." He averts his gaze from mine, and I wish he'd just look me in the face. "I don't make anything easy." I cup his face with my hands and turn it towards me, looking straight into his...
