What could have been.

- Chapter 26 -

 My hands move from Cole's hoodie to the nape of his neck. Slowly, moving the pads of my finger in small circles, until my hands find themselves and clasp together. Cole tightens his grip with the hand that is running through my hair. His hand on my waist leaves me. It’s only brief, but enough time passes for my want for him to become even more desperate. My need for his touch in every way possible on my body circles around in my brain. Before I can complain, one arm loops around my waist, pulling me even closer to him which I thought wasn’t possible. His hand that was in my hair, mirrors his other arm, looping around my waist. I’m lifted off the ground until my back meets the door. I’m placed down, slowly, sliding down the front of his body until my feet find the ground. I drag my hands down his chest, grabbing at as much material of his hoodie that my small hands will allow, I pull him closer, I want more. The palm of his hand's slam onto the door on either side of my head. Cole leans in closer. Pinned and caged in by his body that fits perfectly with mine against the door.

I let out a breath. His forehead rests on mine. We pause, Cole looks down at me while I look up at him to meet his gaze. We hold our stare, breathing heavily. Although our lips have parted momentarily, our bodies are still connected. My rising chest meets his. My hands still holding onto him, with no intention of letting go. 

We take a moment to catch our breaths. My eyes fall to his hand, in one slow brush, his palm finds my cheek and his thumb brushes the corner of my mouth. My want for him takes over. This break is over. My hand cups his on my cheek and my lips find his. Together again, we move in unison, parting our lips and inching forward. 

Our kiss is rushed but not sloppy. 

Frantic but not messy. 

Urgent but not overbearing. 

I want to remove more clothing, not because I want to escalate what we're doing into something more, even if I wanted to my time of the month won't allow it. But I’m hot, so fucking hot. Surely if my temperature was taken at this very moment it would read at an alarming number. I know my temperature change is because of him, it's always been because of Cole. 
The door handle stabs into my lower back and I can’t help but flinch when it does. 

“Ouch.” I squirm against his lips. 

Cole's lips leave mine, still, in his hold, he moves back, making enough space between us to search for the root of my outburst. His eyes are panicked, flickering from my face to my body and back up at my face again. “What happened? Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” 

“No.” How could he have possibly hurt me? “The door handle. It went into my back.” I laugh. His eyes remain connected with mine, holding his gaze. Cole nods before scooping me up into the air. One hand is holding me around my waist but as he begins to walk, the palm of that hand slides up my back and is buried into my hair. While his other hand holds me from under my thighs. I wrap my legs tightly around his waist, throwing my arms around his neck to make sure my hold on him is firm.

Cole walks us over to the sofa, raising his leg, he rests one knee on the seat and leans forward. Carefully, I’m laid down on my back. I don’t release the hold I have on him, making sure he comes down with me. 

My body is reacting in a way that’s completely foreign to me. It’s screaming in every possible way it can for more, it needs more. I need more.

My heart rate will fasten to the point of no return if we continue but I have no intentions of stopping or slowing down. Being under his touch is serene. Although my heart is beating faster than it’s ever done in my entire life, for the first time in a very long time, I feel calm. I don’t have any thoughts swarming around my head, no unwanted sadness or even any feeling at all. I don’t feel numb, I just feel like I’m in bliss. This is my temporary escape.