What could have been.

- Chapter 34 -

“Are you comfortable?” Cole asks. Repositioning me so that my head is resting on my pillow. He shifts between my legs, propping himself up by his elbows. Resting the palm of both his hands in my hairline. Both his thumbs move in gentle strokes on my temples. I nod in response. My words being verbalised seem so foreign to me in this present moment. All I can bring myself to do when he asks me if I'm ok or comfortable is nod and on the odd occasion smile. 

Moving my hands up his chest, I loop my finger around his silver chain hanging loosely around his neck. I need him closer. Bringing him down to me I plant a single kiss on his lips. He pulls back, leaving a single kiss on my forehead. Breathing in my name. Cole moves one hand down to the base of my neck. His head moves in unison with his hand leaving kisses where his hand softly meets my skin. The swelling in my chest increases.

His hands and his lips move together, leaving kisses in their wake. From my chest back up to my cheek then back down to my waist. Bucking my hips up to the side, from his touch. Cole lets out a low chuckle. The coldness from the rings his wearing enhances each sensation I feel from him because of how hot I feel. Why am I always so damn hot when I'm with him?

My head snaps down to look at him when he sucks on a sensitive area near my hip bone. His eyes lock with mine. We both let out an almost silent laugh that only draws out a smile I can't manage to lose even when his eyes regain focus on my shorts.  Closing my eyes, I take in a steady breath as Cole's hands find my waist. I won't get in my head. I don't have to lecture myself further as any usual negative thought that haunts me in intimate moments like this are not there.

Through an exhale of breath, I direct my attention back down to him and find his again already looking up at me. His cheeks are flushed, which I know I’m probably mirroring. His lips are plump, turning the perfect shade of a deep rosy red. My god, he’s perfect. So incredible perfect. 

His eyes flicker to the waistband of my shorts back up to me. I give him the only response I’m capable of, a nod which Cole returns.

Slowly he drags his hands away from my waist down to my waistband. His breathing hitches slightly when I raise my hips up to make removing them easier. He stops to look back up at me. Is he in need of reassurance? So be it. 
Placing my hand over his, guiding them down, we remove my shorts. Cole leans down and places them on the floor beside the bed. Clearing his throat as he does so.

Usually, I would shy away from this, the feeling of being exposed. I mean, I’m in bed with nothing but a near enough see-through white crop top with someone that’s way out of my league. This alone should send me diving under the covers. But he's so effortless in the way he makes me feel so comfortable around him. I don’t feel judged by my imperfections at all. Nor do I feel I should hide them. I don’t understand how he does it. I won’t speculate too much. I think I rather just enjoy it. Especially, while my mind is fogged and won't act as any sort of block to what happens next.

His lips lower to my inner thigh but his eyes remain up, looking at me. Blinking right now seems to be a great inconvenience. I don’t want to miss any of this, any of him. 

His kisses move slow, they move up, up and up. 

His hands take a firm hold on my waist from my hips reacting to his tongue. My voice has found itself again, but the only word that leaves my lips is his name. 

Cole. Cole. Cole...

My back arches from the pleasure building in my core. My breathing falters with each flick of his tongue. My hand finds his shoulders, to steady myself as I guide my hips under his lenient grip.
 
Within minutes my back is laid flat against my sheets, my breathing is uncontrollable and my hands are pressed against my mouth, trying to smoother the sound of my moans.

A single kiss on my already parted lips revives me. Sitting up on my knees, I find Cole already sitting up at the foot of my bed. Reaching for the hem of my top, I pull it over my head and throw it on the floor. Cole's eyes widen as he bites down on his bottom lip. I move toward him. My arm curls around the nape of his neck. Coles pulls me closer, looping his arm around my waist. His other hand brushes through my hair, whereas I place mine on his cheek. “I want more.” I breathe out. “I want you.” He replies bringing his lips to mine. "I want you so fucking bad, Sienna.” 

My hand finds his boxers. Tugging them down, raising his hips, I manage to bring them down to his ankles and Cole kicks them off. Reaching for my thigh, Cole pulls me to him.

Straddling him, still on my knees, he kisses my neck. Leaning back on one hand still sitting, he moves his other hand through my hair. Bringing his mouth to my ear he whispers. “Sit.”

Parting my legs I rise up from my knees slightly, the palm of my hands reaches for his shoulders while I slowly lower myself down. We both gasp, our bodies still to allow us to collect ourselves before continuing. After a few seconds, Coles kisses my neck while I adjust myself. Once I’m comfortable I begin to rock my hips to form the number 8. Moving up, down and circling my hips before lowering myself back down.

Our pace increases, our grasp on each other is desperate to be closer but I don't think it's possible. Brushing my lips against his, we slow down a few seconds to catch each other's lips in a heated kiss before picking up the rhythm once more. Moving his hips up as I continue to rotate mine.

Within minutes we’re both in a state of pure bliss. My arms wrapped around his neck and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. His face is hidden in the nook of my neck. Our breathing is all that can be heard echoing through the silence of my bedroom.

I don't know how long we stay holding each other, but eventually, Cole regains himself enough to lift me, still wrapped around his waist. Lowering me down on my pillow. We lay side by side, him behind me. Our hands clasped together over my stomach.
 
And, in seconds I’m asleep.
 
With the thought of us lingering through my thoughts, resulting in well-rested sleep, I will gladly come accustomed to.