Fourth of October (Juntarsiego Series #1)

Chapter 39

Passion. What does this word mean for a person?

A love for something. A love for a thing that if ever they are given choices, they would choose what they are passionate about.

Patuloy na pipiliin kung anong mahal nila. Because if you're passionate about what you're doing, you don't care if you're gaining money in it or not. Dahil kapag mahal mo ang isang bagay, gagawin mo ang lahat para sa tagumpay. You are able to take risks for that passion of yours because you continue believing in yourself.

And maybe that's how magical my passion is. Unang-una pa lang ay nagustuhan ko na ang pagpipinta. It is my escape from reality, escape from how cruel the world is.

Sa pagpipinta ko natutunan na kapag malungkot ang bagay na gusto mong ipinta, basta't nariyan lahat sa'yo ang kulay ay magagawa mong bigyang hustisya ang ganda nito.

I truly believe on colors' importance. No matter how sad or lonely you are, paintings with different colors will save you. For me. It won't look lifeless and not worth it. Lahat ng bagay ay mabibigyan mo ng importansya. Colors are giving life.

Kung saan ako nagsimula, patuloy akong babalik. I stopped once from continuing it because I think I cannot give my best for that. I think painting with so much sadness inside you can kill the colors.

Staring deeply at the empty canvas, I thought of something that I can paint on it. Maraming ideya ngunit ang tumatatak sa isip ko, iyong paglubog ng araw.

The ending that I want to watch over and over again without getting bored. I could watch the skies getting orange at the end of the day. How the sun goes down while calmly seeing the peaceful sea.

Sighing heavily, I put that idea out of my mind. Makailang beses na akong nakagawa no'n. I want a change. I want something that I haven't painted before.

At alam ko sa sarili kung ano na iyon. Alam ko sa sariling ang iniisip na ng utak ngayon ay imposibleng gawin.

But I can make it possible.

With the use of my imagination and the strokes of the brush, I gave life to the image that is now inside my mind. Tahimik kong ginawa ang bawat detalye na natatandaan ko. Even the smallest details are present. Hindi nga lang sigurado dahil walang reference na natititigan ko ngayon.

The problem with my imagination sometimes is that it cannot really copy the exact angle and look of something I am painting. Nakakabigla ngayong tila walang problema sa akin.

Mixing the colors to have the exact color of the features, my eyes cannot process that what I am doing is close to success. Sa bawat paglagay ng kulay, mas lalong nakukuha ko ang nasa imahinasyon. The angles, shapes and some other relevant details I can imagine can be seen from my painting.

Hinipan ko iyon ng mahina. Strands of my hair are falling, blocking my view as I straightened the position of the canvas, now staring at the finished product of my imagination. I tucked my hair behind my ear as I made my final touch on it. Kasabay no'n ang pagharap ko sa naging gawa.

"Wow."

I can't hide my emotions as I come to face with my work. Umawang ang labi ko nang masaksihan kung gaano kaperpekto iyon.

Never knew that I can still paint perfectly! Ang mas nakakabigla, kayang-kaya kong gawin ang minsan nang pinagdudahan sa sarili. Kayang-kaya kong gawin ang isang bagay na hindi ko kailanman naisip na magtatagumpay.

I placed it on the art gallery of mine. As of now, the place is not open yet for the public. I have no plans yet but we'll get to that.

Binalutan ko iyon ng malapad na papel. For the safety of it and of course, for the highlight if ever I can have a chance to open the place for everyone, especially on my students.