The Beloved One!

Chapter 39

With strands of her sweat damped silver hair clinging to her flushed face, Tazanna's eyes reddened as she said in a frail voice, "....m-m-m-other, I'm sorry. I-I-I-I .... you and father were already under high levels of stress from trying to keep the family together. At first ... when I signed the contract with Cousin Anzor, I thought it was okay because Anzor was family. Even at a certain point throughout our sham marriage, I thought I could have made Anzor fall in love with me, but I was wrong. Terribly wrong. " 

Emma stood there to the side of her daughter's bed as she listened to her daughter talk. Seeing the child who she had raised with so much warmth, love, and affection in this sick state; it felt like a layer of her heart was being peeled off. It hurt, terribly. This was her biological daughter after all; the one who she had carried in her womb for nine months and had risked her life to give birth to. In addition, this child was exactly like her deceased mother, appearance and personality wise. It would be terribly hard not to love her. 

As a child she had felt a love-hate relationship towards her mother, but the love obviously out-weighed the hate. She after all had wished to be stronger to save her mother, to save her unborn siblings, and to fight for all their happiness that they had rightfully deserved in that house, but alas she couldn't. Right now, she was feeling a similar love-hate relationship towards her child. Moreover, seeing her child sick like this for the past few days on end because of the situation with Anzor .... along with the argument they had had and hearing her apologies, of course she as her mother would feel hurt.

The Duchess continued on through bated breaths, "This is because I had fallen in love with Cousin Anzor. And I'm sure you could have easily guessed when I had fallen for him, right mother?

Emma thought, 'of course would I have noticed when you had fallen in love with that unfilial child and .... he was good at pretending to be in love with this child and Kalila, as well. I would have never thought he was pretending.'

The silver haired woman continued, "but even after all these years, he never felt even a shred of love towards me because of her. After I fell in love with him, I placed all the effort I could into our relationship even though I knew it was a sham because I was just hoping ... hoping that maybe one day, that he would merely glance my way ...... but he d-d-d-didn't. His eyes were always on her. His heart only held and will forever hold her." Lifting up her arms to cover her eyes with her hands, she inquired, "mother, at the time did I have terrible prospects as a bride? Did I fall short somewhere? .... Was or is there something wrong with me?" Her tears became larger and larger. "W-W-Why doesn't he love me .... mother?"

Hearing her daughter's words, Emma's heart ached. "Oh my, don't cry my dear child! At that time, you were the most eligible maiden in the kingdom: beauty, brains, bloodline, background, etiquette ... everything!!! You absolutely did not fall short anywhere and there is nothing wrong with you!!!" Then she growled in vexation, "and that Anzor, not only is he an unfilial thing, but he also is blind and foolish, with becoming interested of some commoner slut, breaking off the engagement, getting together with her, impregnating with an illegitimate and actually marrying her!!!!" She raged, "he gave up the family who raised him just for that slut. Not only was and is he ungrateful, but he betrayed and wishes to bite the hand that fed him all those years after he was left alone in this world- damn white eyed wolf!!!!

Her hands slowly moving from her face, Tazanna weakly grasped onto the skirt of her mother's dress. "The situation with Lila.... mother please don't call her such disgraceful words! I only got incensed that day because of the way how you addressed her. Other than you and father, Lila is someone who I find precious and absolutely adore...... Mother, that day during our wedding night-" She paused taking a breath and followed up with, "for some reason, my body felt extremely febrile, and I don't know what had come over me ...... like a demon had possessed my mind and body I was plagued with wanton thoughts .... and immediately after, I met someone who seemed to be from one of the lesser branches of our family ...... and.... and .... my body moved on its own.... a-a-and"

The rest of her words became incoherent as her weeps became worse. "-a-a-and after that .... Anzor showed up and said he would take care of everything and that I must also leave everything up to him. One of the mean reasons why I didn't tell you about that incident was because I desired to pretend that it never occurred .... but it did. Even after taking the morning sickness potion after, I had fallen pregnant .... Anzor told me not to tell anyone and I didn't desire for you or dad to be d-d-disappointed in me, mother!"

Listening to her daughter and putting the pieces together, Emma immediately deduced what had occurred during that night. The retired Duchess gritted her teeth, 'that Anzor found out the drink that was aphrodisiac, delivered it to my daughter and found some unworthy man to rape my daughter!!!" Her eyes turned red. She wanted to release her wind magic, but she was resisting the urge to do so because she was sitting next to her precious, innocent, and currently sick daughter's bed.

She breathed in and out several times, trying to calm herself. Her voice unbelievably soft and warm, "Anna, my sweet child." She gently wiped several large tears from her daughter's eye one by one, "mother apologizes.... about calling you un-pure when such a sorrowful and gruesome thing happened to you .... and about insulting Lila. Mother regrets her words .... I was too peeved that day to asked to how the situations came to be. If only I did. Mother's sorry; I couldn't protect you from such a thing."

She embraced her daughter who was sitting up in the canopy bed, "It's mother's fault! That white-eyed wolf .... if he was not going to treat you well, he should have never married you, even if it was just a scam .... "

Tazanna asked, ".... w-w-what you mean by that, mother?" Then her eyes widened as if she had finally figured out the answer for everything.

Pulling away from her to look her in the eyes, Emma softly sighed at her daughter's reaction, "dear, I know you love Anzor .... but he is a white eyed wolf, someone who is unfilial. I don't want to hurt you like this, but the man who you hold so much affection for, he's the reason why such a thing happened to you."

She started to shake her head, "No! No!! No!!!" And with each head shake, she shook it faster, "NOO!! NOOO! NOOOO!!! Tell me it isn't true, please, mother!!!"

"Oh, my poor child."

••••

Several minutes after her mother left her room and she could not sense anyone's mana signature, nearby, Tazanna got up from her canopy bed. Going to her mirror dresser, she examined herself. She truly looked ill and piteously. Anyone's heart would ache for her. She thought, 'Elder Cousin Nenta's potion really makes me look ill; it even deceived the doctors and healers." There was an impressed tone in her voice as she thought about her wild elder cousin. 

As she gazed at herself in the mirror, Tazanna pondered if she had really hoodwinked her mother as well with her acting. She had learned everything from the stoic assistant Anzor had sent her. She didn't know if she could do it, but she did so anyway, because her parents could no longer continue with their transgressions. Too many ... absolutely too many had suffered because of her parents' ruthless actions and most of her happiness had been built upon those actions. She felt guilty. She had to correct the wrongs of the past, she has to protect her daughter and the rest of the innocent Morley family. 

"Mother, since you and father can put on loving faces, pretend and act in front of me while doing heartless acts .... since I am your daughter, then I can do so too." Her eyes sharpened and narrowed as she murmured to her reflection. "And I will do so even better than you .... mother ... father."