Mercury - Malec OneShots ✓

ꕥ Easy Come Easy Go

ꕥ

I just need to let it go,
waitin' on a miracle
Guess that's just the way it goes,
easy come, easy go
I just need to let it go,
turn it down and lay low
It's just the way it goes,
easy come, easy go

ꕥ

"I need to do this for me.."

Magnus took a deep breath and nodded, averting his eyes. "Kay."

"Come on, Magnus.." Alec chewed on his lips and wasn't quite sure if he should touch his boyfriend right now, or not. He ended up brushing his thumb over the other's shoulder, trying to get him to look up.

"You know that you can just tell me if you want to break up, no need to shield my feelings or-"

"No!" Alec quickly said, not wanting Magnus to think such thing for even a second. "I promise, it's not that. It's not like I want to get rid of you, Magnus. I love you, I know that.. but there's so much other stuff that I don't know and I just.. I've always wanted to do this."

Magnus finally looked up and his eyes were shining slightly. "Yeah, I know.. you've been talking about Australia ever since I met you.."

Alec smiled slightly. "Yeah.."

"But then.. why can't we do.. long distance? Does finding yourself involve sex with others?"

Alec knew that Magnus didn't seriously need an answer to this ridiculous question but it still annoyed him a little that he asked it.

"No. It obviously doesn't. You're the only man I want to have sex with."

"Good, then why does this feel like a goodbye..?" He only whispered it and Alec's insights cramped further. He had been so sure of his decision but now he wasn't anymore.

Was this stupid? He was lucky enough to be in a loving relationship and he was risking it for his own self-development which might not even work out.

"I know that I will lean on you.. I will call you every day and I will seek comfort and when things go to shit, I'll still be okay because I have you.. but I want to figure out how I can handle all of this. Just me.. does that make any sense?"

"It does."

Alec sighed relieved. He took a deep breath and said the thing of which he had been the most afraid to say.

"I'm not expecting you to wait for me, you know? If you wanna.. well... I don't want to chain your freedom like that.."

The thought of Magnus finding another love while he was gone was the worst out of all fears but he just needed to do this. He also saw it as some sort of test to the universe, something that would show if they really belonged, forever.

He wanted to become a better person, stronger, less dependent, more interesting, more adventurous. Magnus was all of that and he was done just admiring, he wanted it for himself. He was sick of being the weird, anxious one.

He had always dreamt of Australia and now he was finally ready to not give a fuck about poisonous animals and just do it, just live.

Magnus didn't say anything for a while, then he turned to the side and took Alec's hands in his, finally looking into his eyes. There were tears welling in his now and Alec suddenly felt similar.

"I support this idea, Alexander. I love it, it's amazing! I would tell everyone to go for it.. it's just harder when it's you because of the prize I'll pay. But I love you enough to let you go."