Mercury - Malec OneShots ✓

ꕥ Giants

ꕥ

You take a hit of anything
To escape it all or suffocating
The sharpen blade of reality
Sometimes it wanna hurt me

ꕥ

Something really weird happened a while ago. I was sitting by the train station, hands buried in my pockets, earplugs stuck in my ear, all my focus on staying okay when the air got soaked out of my lungs.

My heart started hammering like a drum and I felt like crying because of how scary it always gets.

This isn't my first panic attack and it also didn't come unexpected, I have feared for it to happen the whole day. But this isn't the weird thing.

That happened when I looked up, a few seconds later and my gaze got stuck on a stranger. I usually avoid eye contact, it's just intimidating. When someone looks at me, I instinctively avert my eyes. Yet, this time, I simply couldn't.

He is taller than most but still not as tall as me. He stands out like a flower in winter. People wear black and grey, mainly suits because they are heading home from work.

He wears colors. That day, he wore a dark red suit with golden highlights, shimmery eyeshadows, necklaces and ear piercings in the same color palette. He looked like a fancy and rich circus director or as if he had just attended an exclusive fashion show.

Everyone had their head down, eyes on the phone, finger hammering rhythmically into the keyboard but not him. His eyes were up, as he watched the people and his surroundings and.. me.

I noticed all this, yet it didn't matter because the real reason why I couldn't look away wasn't about his appearance.

It was how it made me feel to be noticed by him. How warm and open his deep brown eyes looked at me, what he did to me.

The weight on my chest eased, my lungs filled with more air than before the urge to cry disappeared and all I wanted now was to have him around, forever.

Our eyes were locked until the train arrived. I quickly sat down at my usual seat, half hoping he wouldn't look for me and half hoping he would.

He didn't and I didn't see where he got off. He was just gone.

ꕥ

I thought about what had happened until the next day. And there he was again. Had he always been there? Probably. My eyes are usually down, so I couldn't tell.

Today, he wore a royal blue jacket and had everything else matched up to that color. He was eating a croissant and somehow managed to still look beautiful while doing so.

I stared at him until he must have felt it and looked up from his food. His eyes met mine and this time I felt a deep blush. I managed to look away and didn't dare to look at him again until the train arrived.

And again, I never knew where he got off.

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It happened for a whole week. I would search for him and his eyes would always end up on mine. Maybe he was searching for me too?

No, I don't think so. I really want him to find me pretty or interesting or cute or anything. I want his attention, a lot when at the same time, I'm so scared to get it. I'm a mess, he shouldn't be interested in me, for his own good.

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It's Friday now and I decided to stop searching his gaze. There's no point. It's just selfish, I shouldn't burden him just because he makes me feel good.