Breath of the Wild College AU fanfic │Thinking About You

Power, Courage, Wisdom

I sit quietly, waiting for Father to begin. His eyes are aimed at his hands folded on the desk. A soft sigh rolls from his lips as his eyes move up to meet mine across the dark wood and stacks of papers.

"I know you came back for the letter," he begins and I already want to deny it but I will let him finish. "But first we need to talk about what happened earlier."

"I agree," I say, taking my first breath since we sat down.

"I do not intend to disinherit you and I surely hope a contract is not necessary to implement my rules." I nod as he inhales deeply. I already know what is coming next but neither of us seems to be able to address it. "I-" he pauses. "Do you believe I would celebrate finding out that--"

"No," I cut him off. He doesn't have to say it out loud. For the first time ever he appears relieved that I interrupted him. "I don't think that and shouldn't have said it," I add.

Despite our difficulties, I very much still love Father. I may daydream about Impa's family or ponder about living with Urbosa, but I would not dream of having another father. 

I must find a balance of exoneration and accommodation. I want to please Father and convince him that I am not a disappointment but I have to make him understand that his expectations are too high. He needs to see that I am at my limits, whether he is satisfied by those limits or not is as much up to me as it is up to Link to win the soccer game against Lorule.

"Whether it should or shouldn't have been said is irrelevant," Father speaks calmly. "It has been said and I would like to know why." I gulp. "You may not agree with the rules I set but everything I do, I do for you. I am not your enemy. And loathing me will not impact my disciplines. I know what is best for you and I will pristine your attitude until you see the value in my decisions."

How is it possible to start so caring and still end up sounding like a dictator?

"I don't loathe you and I certainly don't condemn your rules," I begin. His features soften but I'm not done yet. "Most of your decisions are indeed in my best interest, such as living at home opposed to living on campus to keep distractions to a minimum. Even the curfew and the no boyfriend rules spring from good arguments, but, and here's the big but, what I am not okay with is you enforcing those rules on me."

His face twitches, signaling me that he wants to utter his objection. It must come as a challenge to let me finish but I'm grateful that he is patiently hearing me out.

"I strongly believe that I have proven to be mature and rational enough to be home at a decent hour and to keep my performance at its absolute best. Never have I anticipated anything below a 100, and had you just asked me to keep my grades up I would have gladly ensured you that anything other than a 4.0 GPA never even appeared as an option to me. Yet you felt the need to coerce me into perfection. It didn't change my will to succeed. All it did was give me anxiety and panic attacks and led me to believe that you do not trust me."

My voice is beginning to shake as I speak but I need to put the cards on the table. It's now or never.

"The day people saw me crying on campus, you confronted me to find out whether I was failing my classes. I wasn't. I was doing good. Better than good. And still, I was so frightened of failing you that I had a breakdown when my friend pointed out that I missed a question on an assignment. I-I actually broke down. And I'm sorry that I caused a scene and that people saw your daughter like that but it was out of my control."

My vision blurs as tears fill my eyes. Why is it so difficult to say these things out loud? I feel weaker by the second. Father is still looking at me with sealed lips.