I guess I love you | Eren X Levi

chapter 9

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Eren p.o.v.

I feel that feeling come back again. What is it and why must it be here now of all times.

I head to my desk. Nobody has their eyes on me this time suprisingly which is good. I don't like attention focused on me all that much especially large groups.

Except one person is looking at me and thats Levi.

He turned around, focusing on the teacher and I pulled my math notebook and binder out as Mr.Eyebrows continued his boring lesson that was obviously not that far in.

I started to write, when I felt a pair of eyes stare me down once again.  Looking up, I see that it's Levi...again. Why is he staring at me so much. It doesn't make me uncomfortable though, I just want to know why.

Once I look up at him he darts his eyes away.

-time skip-

I ate my supposedly "healthy" school lunch emotionlessly and all I could think about was him, and I'm not even sure why I'm thinking about him. It's just, not bothering me, but more so intriguing me. My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"You ok, Eren?" Mikasa said in a sincere tone, completely opposite of last night.

Suprised that she wasn't still mad, I answered. "Oh, yeah. Just thinking too much I guess."

Shit. Now she's going to want to know what I'm thinking about. That was a mistake.

"What are you thinking so hardly about?" She asks, becoming intrusive like expected.

I told you.

"Uh well, I was just thinking about my homework! Yeah, I couldn't figure out a problem in math today and I was just rethinking it. Those...darn math problems, you know?" I put on a cheesy smile while rubbing the back of my neck. I knew that sounded fake and she would end up winning this.

"Since when do you rethink homework problems. Expecially math homework.  Come'on Eren I know you're lying. Anyone would." She responded, totally unconvinced.

She got me.

"Does it really matter? Can I not have my own thoughts? It's like I can't even have any privacy any more because you have to ask and barge in all the time." I don't know where this sudden outburst came from, but it was clearly there.

And I regret it.

"Well excuse me! If you don't want my help or advice then I won't give it to you. I won't care anymore. All I do is try to help you and protect you, make you feel better, but no! Not anymore." She yelled. And I mean it, she yelled.

Most of the students in the lunch room around us were looking at us. Mikasa glanced at me, got up, threw her trash away, and walked off in a fit.

That went well.

Everyone slowly started returning to their conversations and left me and Armin alone. Poor Armin. He always has to go through our fights and he has to control himself to not say anything because I know me, or Mikasa, would snap on him if he said one word during our desputes. And I really wouldn't want that.

He didn't say anything to me and neither did I to him.

Before I knew it, our lunch period was over and I was heading to science.

Can't this day be over with already?

-time skip-

Returning home and opening the front door, I make my way into the house and plop down on my couch. Too lazy to get the remote, I grab my phone instead.

No messages, what a suprise.

I start to skim through my facebook, instagram, tumblr, ect. My phone buzzes, interrupting me from scrolling and showing the little mail symbol at the top of my screen.

It was from Mikasa which was actually very unexpected.

Mikasa: Are you done flipping out?

What the hell! She's the one that was flipping out! Not me!

Me: yes, I'm done. I'm sorry.

I decided to take the blame because I know she won't. Plus having another fight didn't sound good. It wouldn't be resolved and it'd just keep going on until I did this anyways. Usually with our fights I'd have to do this in the end.

It seemed like forever since the last time she texted me. Actually, it has been a while.

Mikasa: ok. But can I ask you a question though? What was so important earlier. What were you thinking about?

Of course. Well, I might as well tell her because she won't drop that either.

Me: Well if I tell you, you promise not to make a huge fuss or anything? And can I keep the names anonymous?

She better atleast agree to that or she's not getting any information at all.

Mikasa: I guess that'll work. Now tell meeeee.

She sounds like a little kid on Christmas eve asking what her gifts are, she's so impatient sometimes.

Me: Well ok, I was thinking about someone. This person has been on my mind a lot lately and I don't even know why. They just, they're the only thing I can think about. What does that mean?

I send the text, hoping for a useful answer in return and not her flipping out. And in a matter of seconds, I get a respond which I'm afraid to open but I do anyways.

Mikasa: EREN! You're in love! Whoever this is, which you don't have to tell me who, you like them! Now, I'm pretty sure I won't approve of who this person is, you still like them. My Eren has a crusssshhhhhh. Awwwww!

I'm stricken with shock. 

I'm not gay. (Boi yeah you are)

I couldn't possibly like levi in a way as Mikasa is saying. No, that wasn't it, I can't like him. Or love him like Mikasa is saying.

A part of me feels guilty when I say I don't like him.

Could Mikasa possibly be right? Could I like levi?

Me: oh....well. Alrighty then. Thanks?

Mikasa: Mhm! You're welcome. Well I gotta go. Bye!

I'm not sure how I feel. Could this be true? Could I be....gay and like Levi? Maybe I'm bi? I don't even know anymore.

If it is true, I don't know what I'm going to do, or what I'm going to say. All I know is that I need to find out if this is true or not.

Right now, I'm not really sure.
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{God the cringe}