INFINITY

Chapter 20: Midnight Sun

19th September 2021

Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them, Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. (25:70 ~ Quran)

Chapter 20
How much is too much?

Grief

An unending ocean of despair pulling us deeper and deeper into its depth. The more you try to fight it, only the more tired it leaves you. Are we supposed to cave into the waves that lash and thrash us side to side or go down fighting anyway?

The past few days had been taking a toll on the group. They were all drowning in their own grief while trying to throw a lifeline for each other.

They say time heals all wounds.

Does it?

It's been a month and as Humaira stood watering the plants in their inner courtyard lost in her thoughts, she could still feel the sting of the unhealing wound, just as though they were attacked by the news all over again. The first four stages of grief kept repeating on loop, yet the fifth never seemed to come -Acceptance.

On the day of his funeral, a lot of people had come and gone. Said their sympathies. Quite a few had shed some tears. Some of them didn't even know him. That day Humaira realised the extent to which he had touched the lives of those around him. Even those who were against him at one point had come together to grieve him. From Arjun and Aman to everyone whom he had wronged at some point, he had managed to make peace from his end and Humaira wondered if that was his life's greatest achievement.

For a few days, there were his photos and posters all over the school walls. People came over to offer support. But a few days later, the visits were scaled down and then a few more days later his name became sparse. And that was it. Just like that, everybody had moved on.

But not them.

They could feel his absence everywhere. The silence was unnervingly loud and clear. In the driveway, they waited for his car to pull up. In the cafe, they left his seat empty waiting for him to show up. The emptiness never left. Things would never be the same. They would never be the same. This was the new normal. A world in which Yazdan did not exist and they weren't ready to come to terms with that yet.

Was this the price of love?

Everything was changing all at once and Humaira -a person who always moved forward with a plan and backup plan- was finding it more and more difficult each passing day to cope up with the besetting uncertainties that mocked her.

Although, she did come to find solace in unexpected places during the worst period of her life. Rayhan had taken a few days off from college to offer his support to Shazin and her mom. Even as Shazin denied any need for his help, Rayhan often hung out close by, more often at Hamish and Humaira's place. And honestly, Humaira was grateful for his presence. Him being elder than her somehow felt relieving since she felt she could finally take a load off her shoulder. A break from always having to pretend to be the grown-up, from being the one who held it together all the time. She was expected to be the ever logical one. But didn't death and love defy all human balance and logic?

Everybody was taking the hit differently. While Hamish, Humaira and Samah had forced themselves to go to school and complete their final year a couple of weeks later, Shazin remained MIA. Not just from the school, from everyone's lives, including her own.