Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Four (gxg)

I go back to December all the time (requested)

Taylor could already hear the screams coming from the fans in the crowd.

She kept her head down as she got ready to go onstage.

It's a pretty emotional night for her. It's her first performance since you broke up.

It's been a hard couple of weeks. She's been preparing for this night and has been in and out of the studio to record it.

It's been hard on her to turn the heartache she felt into this song. Because of all those days you spent together, she never imagined she'd write a song like this for you.

She took a seat at the piano, watching as all the lights turned on and listening as the fans cheered loudly.

"Before I start to sing this song, I want to make a little speech." She spoke into the microphone and the screaming calmed down a little as every fan in the crowd listened to her every word.

"This is a new song that I recently wrote and I want to dedicate it to the girl that will always have my heart. To the one that was by my side through every moment, the good and the bad, but I was too caught up in things that were happening in my life that I didn't realize what I had when she was in my life... until it was too late. I saw her recently, but it was nothing like the way things used to be, and I know that's all on me. So, to you, if you hear this song and these words, if you ever see this performance, I hope you know that I'll never forget you and that I wish I had another chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved, the way you loved me and that I'm sorry..."

And with those words and a shaky breath, she started to play and her pretty voice came through the microphone, making the fans in the crowd cheer excitedly.

"I'm so glad you made time to see me, how's life? Tell me, how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while." She started to sing and she tried to keep it together.

After all, she's only a few sentences in. She's got a couple of minutes to go. She had to make it through.

"You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why," she sang, a shaky breath following yet again.

As she sang every word, every minute you spent together flooded back to her.

She remembered that day that she last saw you. It wasn't long ago, maybe a week or. But it feels like forever.

Things weren't the same. She knew after everything that happened, things wouldn't ever be like they once were. She understood that.

But to make small talk like you did that day, as if you didn't hold her in your arms that one awful September night that she wishes never happened to her, never happened.

That one night that broke her and changed the way she saw things and made her wonder how the world might look at her. That one night when she didn't know who else to lean on except you, and you just let her cry for as long as she needed.

Because you cared.

Because you loved her.

Small talk is something she never imagined happening between the two of you.

She hates it.

She sang about the roses you gave her that she let die. She sang about missing your tan skin, remembering all the times she loved how soft it was against the tips of her fingers, and how she kissed it on occasion.

She sang about realizing she loved you in the fall... before things got cold. How she didn't call you on your birthday. How you gave her everything and she gave you nothing but goodbye, knowing deep down that it must've destroyed you inside.

She almost sobbed between her words. Holding it together when she was being struck with flashbacks and regret was so hard to do.

She sang as if she was saying all of these things to you, not to these thousands of fans in the crowd. She adores them, she loves them so much.

But you need to hear these words and she didn't know how to say them. Closing her eyes and imagining you were there listening made it easier.

When the song was done and she felt like she could let a tear or two go as the lights went out, she didn't hesitate to let them fall. She didn't stop them. She didn't hold back.

She promised she'd return soon before she went backstage and grabbed her phone, clicking on your number that she hasn't deleted. She can't bring herself to do so.

I know I messed things up between us. I wish I could love you again. I know it's probably just mindless dreaming, wishful thinking, but I hope you hear the song I wrote for you. I hope you hear the words I said before it. Most of all, I hope you know I meant every single one of them. I hope you're well. I miss you.

She let a few more tears fall as she put her phone down, hoping that you'd hear the song someday.

She just hoped you knew that every lyric came from her heart; the place she'll always keep you.