Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Four (gxg)

finding out that you can't have kids (requested)

The drive home was silent as you and Taylor left the doctor's office.

She rested one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh as she drove, trying her hardest to wrack her brain for the right words to say at that moment.

It wasn't until you walked into the house and up the stairs to the bedroom that she found her voice after swallowing the lump in her throat.

"Are you alright?"

You wordlessly shook your head as tears stung your eyes.

You'd just been given the worst news you'd ever received and you didn't know what to do or how to take it.

"I just can't believe it." You spoke quietly. "I had so many hopes and dreams of us having our own family together."

"We can still have that, honey." She said as she put her hand back on your thigh in comfort.

"But I can't be the one to give it to you." You sniffled as you looked at her. "I can't have kids, Taylor. I can't bring life into the world. I dreamt of doing that someday. I wanted us to have our own family."

She pulled you into her embrace as the tears ran down your cheeks.

It was crushing for both of you.

Although there were other options out there, Taylor knew this was important to you and, truthfully, it was to her too.

She dreamt of watching a little human entering the world someday; one that you'd carry and keep warm and safe.

She dreamt of meeting them right after they entered the world; when she could finally hold them, touch them, wrap her fingers around their much tinier ones.

She dreamt of the entire process of pregnancy with you, imagining being right there by your side every step of the way.

But that wouldn't be possible because your body wasn't capable of that and it was a devastating blow to your hearts.

"I wanted to have our own kids so badly. I wanted that so much, Tay," You cried as you clutched her shirt in your fist.

She felt tears fill her eyes as she watched all of your hopes and dreams come crashing down around you.

It was hard news for her to take in too but it was so much harder watching you fall apart.

She's so used to being able to make things better for you, but this is one thing she couldn't make better; not for a long, long while.

"I know, baby." She sniffled as she rubbed your back, gently laying her cheek on your head. "I know it's hard. I know it's not what we expected. But there are other options."

"I know." You cried.

"There are a lot of kids out there that need a good home. We can adopt a little baby of our own and we'll watch them grow and keep them safe and happy just as we would our own."

You continued to sob and she closed her eyes, squeezing you a little tighter.

"It won't be the same, I know, but we'll have our own family. Somehow, someday, we will have a family together, Y/N, I promise you."

You buried your face in her neck as she brushed her lips against your head softly.

"I won't break that promise to you. One day, we will have a little baby of our own. I don't know how but we will. I need you to believe that."

You wordlessly nodded your head.

"I'm sorry that I let you down."

"You didn't." She whispered as she cupped your cheeks, making you look at her. "You could never let me down, especially not for something that's out of your control. You're still perfect to me."

You put your forehead against hers and sniffled as she intertwined her fingers with yours.

"I promise you, sweet girl. We will have that family we dream of having together. We'll have a baby of our own and we'll watch them grow and we'll spoil them like crazy. Somehow." She assured.

It wouldn't be the way that you dreamt of it being.

But you wanted that in whatever way you could get it.

You just wanted a family with Taylor more than anything.

So you nodded your head in agreement and laid your cheek on her shoulder as she continued to hold you.

"I love you, no matter what."

"I love you too." You said as you closed your eyes, wishing that some sort of miracle would occur so your dreams would come true.