hero's shadow // mha

33) complicity

Visiting the children in nearby orphanages used to be one of Hizashi's favorite things to do when he had time off.

Between being a teacher, a radio show host, and a pro hero, he doesn't get much time to himself. But even with the insane hours he works and the patrols he occasionally takes during the weekends, he always makes sure to have a little time left over for the little ones in the orphanages.

Hizashi loves children. He's always had a soft spot for them, and he likes to think he's a pretty likable figure among them. Children seem to like his upbeat personality and voice, and they don't cower away or cry when they see him, which is honestly more than he ever hoped for when he first graduated high school. Even most adults don't care for his loud voice, so it certainly came as a surprise to him when he made his hero debut.

Kids are just so sweet and kind and lovable that god, once upon a time Hizashi had wanted to adopt one.

He still does, in all honestly (he doesn't think that part of himself will ever fully go away), but that naïve wish of his has long since been stamped out. Hizashi remembers how he would have dreams of raising a kid with Shouta; wonderful dreams that would fill him with longing and a touch of sadness, because Shouta made it very clear that he didn't want any children.

It's too dangerous, Hizashi remembers his husband saying to him one night after he finally built up the courage to tell him about his dreams. About his thoughts on the future—on their future.

And it is dangerous, really. Hizashi isn't stupid. He knows that with their line of work, having a baby—whether or not it's biologically theirs—would create a weakness; it would paint a huge red target on the listener's back. Most villains won't hesitate to hurt a child if it means getting back at the heroes who've wronged them. It's only logical, as Shouta would say.

But even with that knowledge weighing heavy at the back of his mind, Hizashi never stopped visiting the orphanages. He never stopped wanting. He would bring it up every now and then just to see his husband's reaction, because Hizashi knows Shouta wasn't entirely truthful that night. He knows his best friend like he knows the back of his own hand, like he knows the alphabet—forwards, backwards, in his sleep, and in another language. Shouta wants a child, too, and it's rather obvious. At least to the ones close to him.

Shouta, contrary to popular belief, doesn't hate children. He wouldn't be a teacher otherwise, that's for sure. He truly cares for his students, more so than most teachers in his position. That's something else that Hizashi and Shouta share: this want—no, need to have someone to bring into their relatively small and tight-knit family. This need to have someone to raise as their own.

Bonding with the kids at the homes served as a repeating source of comfort for Hizashi since the gap of years between Oboro's death and his marriage with Shouta—that stretch of time where the tide of grief was strong and any glimmers of happiness were revered like gold dust, and Hizashi and Shouta would cling to each other in hopes of riding out the never-ending waves of pain.

But the little tradition of going to visit the kids stopped shortly after meeting Midoriya for the second time. Hizashi remembers it with striking clarity, how he walked into that laundromat half-asleep, a clothes basket tucked under his arm with his mind flashing back to the celebrity interview he just finished up a few hours before, and promptly stumbled upon the same kid he'd witnessed being bullied not too long before.

We're just playing a game, one of the little gremlins said, obviously lying their ass off in hopes of not getting lectured. A game is only a game when all participants are enjoying themselves, and it's obvious Midoriya wasn't enjoying himself at all.