hero's shadow // mha

76) first and last

Izuku is sort of an unofficial expert on pain.

He's experienced in all of its types and subdivisions. He's been on the receiving end and the giving end, so it's safe to say he knows what he's talking about. For example, he's smashed his head into walls so many times now that he's fully convinced he just lives in a state of perpetual hallucination. Half the time he isn't sure if the killer emo clown at the edge of his vision is real or not, but he's not about to ask anyone around him for obvious reasons.

That, combined with the fact that he now spends a large majority of his time dreaming and talking with dead people, doesn't make for a very good basis on what's reality and what's fiction—but never mind that.

Izuku is crouched on the edge of a medium-sized building, bōstaff clutched tightly in hand. He's on the opposite side of the city, having decided to start at the end of his patrol route instead since he knows the crime rate here has been steadily increasing due to public unrest.

He should be ecstatic right now. He should be eager and giddy to get going and fight again. But for some reason, Izuku is hesitant. He isn't scared, no, of course not. It's just that he... he isn't sure he should be doing this.

Aizawa gave him permission, yeah, but he seemed distracted. He could barely look Izuku in the eye. Did he really mean it? Did he really think Izuku should go out alone, or did he say that just to get him out of his hair and make Hound Dog happy?

Izuku knows it's unfair to assume something like that, but it's not without reason.

His stomach flips around wildly inside him, making Izuku hunch over even more. He has to force himself to take a step back from the ledge so he doesn't topple right off. He's so nervous he feels like he's about to puke!

He should call Aizawa. Maybe he can ask him if he's sure this is alright. He can—

No! The only thing that would do is make Izuku seem even more childish. He needs to keep this privilege. He doesn't want Aizawa to think he can't handle this, because he can handle it. Perfectly, actually!

The only reason he's feeling like this is because he hasn't been out by himself in a while, that's all. Yeah, exactly that.

Izuku jumps onto the neighboring rooftop and takes off along the streets, keeping his eyes and ears out for anything suspicious. He tries his hardest to focus, but his thoughts keep going back to Aizawa and Yamada.

The voice hero is working late again, and so is Aizawa. Is it really appropriate for Izuku to be out alone when they're so busy? It's not like Izuku thinks he's going to need them as backup anytime soon, of course! But still, wouldn't they want that as an option?

"Why am I being so stupid?" Izuku grits out, pressing his palms against his forehead in irritation. "I've never acted like this before. What's changed?"

Darkness moves around before him, and Izuku's head snaps to the side just in time to see Sixth stepping closer to him from around a wall. His ghostly form is so faint that it could almost be mistaken for a trick of the light. What hasn't changed, you mean, the man says, voice silky smooth.

Izuku sighs and turns away, going back to his scouting. "I'm still me. I'm still Rabbit. Nothing has changed that would make me act like—like this."

Maybe you don't actually want to be out here, En offers, floating to a stop beside him. The air grows chillier with his presence. There's no shame in cutting this off early.

Izuku throws him a bewildered look. "Are you kidding?" Not waiting for a response, Izuku steps off the side of the roof and plummets to the floor. He takes off in the direction of commotion and reels back in a huff when he notices Sixth keeping pace. "What made you come out of hiding?"