Stupid Wife [Chaelisa]

34. Ready

Roseanne's POV

Everything seems out of place.

It is my first thought when I wake up and realize that I am not in the room I share with Lisa; the dread begins to grow inside me when I realize that I know this place. I look around, becoming even more terrified when I realize what is happening. I run to the bathroom just to confirm.

"It can not be." I touch my face with my hands, not wanting to believe the image that reflects in front of me. I'm young again, back in the past. It's still night, I can't believe it. "No, please. No! No!"

I start repeating over and over, leaving the bathroom with my hands in my hair. My heart seems to be about to rip my chest; my breath is getting heavy because I'm feeling my breath start to run out. It is not possible that the last few months were just a fantasy in my head.

"Did you see that Lisa left the ICU?"

My sister suddenly enters my room, looking flustered and at the same time with a huge smile on her face. I get confused, taking in what she just said to me.

"She what?"

My voice barely came out; it seems to have thorns in my throat.

"She'll be fine. I said that everything would work out in surgery."

"What do you mean... What are you talking about? What happened to her?"

Chaeyoung looks at me without understanding, holding on to my shoulders to analyze my face. I feel like crying, I don't know what happened before or even now, I'm terrified. I want everything to go back to normal.

"Lisa had a motorcycle accident last week. Are you all right? Looks like she's about to pass out... Roseanne!"

I hear my sister's voice getting distant and I don't know exactly when my eyes went dark, but all I hear before I fall forward is her call.

Desperately searching for my breath, I sit up on the bed, panting and feeling my body hot as if I have just entered a fire. I look around, realizing that everything is dark. I quickly turn on my lamp and almost cry with relief when I look to the side and see the image of my sleeping wife, totally oblivious to my dread.

She was just a heavy sleeper, thankfully.

I swallow the ball of saliva in my mouth, not resisting lying back and being very close to her. Lisa is as usual; hands under her pillow, with her mouth slightly apart and I can hear her breath come out softly and calmly. So beautiful and so mine.

What a bad feeling to imagine that something had happened to her and that we were back in the past.

Looking at her now after having been so afraid of not having her with me, I feel the intensity of the feeling I have for her. I always thought that loving was too difficult, but it turns out she makes it look so easy. It didn't take long for me to fall in love and love her again.

And I believe that if I needed to do it again a thousand times, then a thousand times I would love her again. It's inevitable.

I remember hearing my father say several times "If the person is destined for you, regardless of everything, you will meet again. Even if it is necessary to recognize yourself a thousand times."

I'm sure that in this and the next lives, she and I will continue to meet. There is this thing that holds us together and it seems too strong to try to run. It is too easy to love her, it is gratifying to be hers and it is an honor to share our lives.

She really knows me, Roseanne from the past, the present and the future. All the insanities and fears that are in my head. She really knows me and loves me the way I am; with imperfections and perfections.