"Can you stay still for a second? Iʼm trying to concentrate", she forced the bodyguard to not move while sitting on a chair, her fingers holding a brush while gently coloring the canvas in front of her.
Honesty, the bodyguard had some really interesting facial features. The most mesmerizing detail the tiny birthmark underneath his left eye, almost invisible for the human eye, yet it was there. His eyes had an alluring tone of ocean blue mixed with a dark and bright green pallette— to draw a challenge, but Namwaan was pleased about some sort of action in her life.
After some days of being completely isolated from the outside world, she figured the easiest way to live life during this time was to accept it and use everything she had to solve her problem of boredom.
And the bodyguards had to deal with it.
Drawing them, drawing on them, cooking with them, watching all kinds of movies Jeongguk had at home with them, playing Jeonggukʼs favorite shooter games with them, anything coming to Namwaanʼs mind was something the bodyguards had to accept to her pleasure.
"Maʼam, you have a visitor", the other bodyguard, a bit taller and more muscular than the one sitting on the chair being drawn right now, entered the room with a guest following him.
She was allowed to have guests?
Namwaan looked up from her painting and waited for the visitor to show himself — and after she had taken a glimpse at him, the canvas and her colors looked ridiculously unimportant.
"Jeongguk", she squealed happily and jumped up to fall into his arms.
Oh god, how much she had missed him and how concerned she was the whole time during his absence.
Jeongguk, on the other hand, didnʼt seem to be as happy as her.
"Are you okay?", she asked after looking into his exhausted brown eyes. Usually theyʼd sparkle and spread ecstasy whenever his eyes met hers, but this time they looked bland and tired, almost as if he was dead inside.
Yet his sweet lips had formed a smile.
"I missed you, my love", without saying much more, his head came near hers until she felt him giving her a gentle kiss on the lips — normally, sheʼd be happier than ever feeling his touch once again after such a long time of missing him, but him appearing like a ghost worried Namwaan too much to be focusing on intimacy.
"Whatʼs wrong?", whatʼs wrong, what a stupid question.
Everything was wrong. Everything was falling apart and every little move of anyone seemed to be a fail, which was exhausting and draining to Jeongguk.
Jeongguk missed her.
All this time of his unwell being, he had craved her presence so badly, how many times did he catch herself thinking about her? So many times, he couldnʼt even count anymore.
"Iʼm with you now. Iʼm happy", he replied and smiled once again.
Not even the thought of Namwaan gave him relief anymore. Thinking about her being in danger drove him almost insane, his innocent lovely girl in trouble because of him. Sometimes he considered thinking about how, if he had never fallen in love with her, she wouldnʼt be in danger right now. Maybe it was his fault.
But then again, taking this as a solution of their current situation was dumb and naive, so Jeongguk loved to push his own thoughts away and drag the happy memories inside.
"I love you", and how much he did..
His hair was wet. Namwaan didn't notice at first, too shocked processing his presence, but now the water of the rain was dripping on her - she laughed and gave him another kiss on his dry lips.
"I love you more", she loved him with her whole heart, nothing in this world could ever express how much pure love she felt towards the guy who was holding her in his arms in exact this moment. For a second, she forgot about what was actually important - maybe because she was far away from being important than Jeongguk was to her. "I'm so sorry for this, you're caged in this house and I'm so terribly sorry, I can't go with losing-"
"Sh", she interrupted him before he could speak any more.
Everything was under control. Well, not in best control, but this situation was able to be handled. Was she reckless for not panicking as much as others would? It felt like nothing big to her, either she didn't mind something happening to her or she was too unexperienced to acknowledge the danger she was in.
Either ways, she was sure she didn't like seeing Jeongguk down as much as he was right now. She could sense how suffocating this was too him, how much his own life was destroying him, and obviously getting him out of this dark place was her only mission.
"You won't lose me. And I've been isolated before, this time it's inside instead of outside", she smiled at him warmly. Isolated wasn't the best term to call her time of being homeless, the other term crossing her mind was abandoned yet this felt a bit more miserable. Putting Jeongguk more down reminding him of the past he couldn't change was simply unnecessary.
Jeongguk's finger gently touched her shoulder.
She was so precious, so..
Strong. And independent, she handled so many things in her life without any help, how could he forget that? He realized how in his head she looked like a puppy, someone he had to take care of, which was not the case. It was Namwaan. A strong and independent woman who didn't need anyone's help, yet appreciated offered help from anyone. She was too thankful to reject anyone's help, but she was never too selfish to ask for help, even if it was fine to ask for help.
If he was being honest, she was more taking care of him than he was of her.
"How do you manage it?", Jeongguk asked after the bodyguards left the livingroom to stand outside of the house, doing whatever the heck they were doing. Wasn't it extremely lame to fulfill a job as bodyguard? And really hard to be focusing on protecting something or someone for the whole day? Namwaan asked herself this question since ever they arrived, and happily decided to bake some cookies for them someday. One day when she starts being good at cooking and baking.
"Manage what?"
Followed by Jeongguk, Namwaan sat down on the couch, putting the canvas and the painting stuff away before Jeongguk could look at it. "Life. Life is so cruel yet you're sitting here looking at me with a beautiful smile on your lips. How do you do that?"
Hm.
Namwaan sat still for this question. She never really thought about it, she never really asked herself why she is enjoying her happy moments when the bad ones were so overwhelming and filled with sorrow and sadness.
Her boyfriend eyed her with his big brown eyes, his hair still messy but slowly drying. His hoodie. It was the dark blue one.
The dark blue hoodie..
"Wear this."
He threw one of his hoodies on his bed without looking, geez, his closet was a whole maze. After the hoodie, a jacket followed its way, a pair of socks accidently hitting her face.
"Ouch", she whispered quietly, hoping he didn't hear her.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking. I could ask my girlfriends for some clothes, but.. You know. We're just gonna go shopping tomorrow."
"Bu-"
"If it's not a ~Yes Jeongguk we're going shopping~, then I'm sorry dummy, I've suddenly turned deaf", he gave her one of the brightest smiles she had ever looked at, making her strangely flustered causing her to just say nothing in response. Just a smile.
"Hey, um. It's the least I can do. I'm a few months late with helping you, I'm sorry-"
"Please stop saying you're sorry", Namwaan said quietly. Gosh, she was so shy - she was actually talking to him. Being in his house. An opportunity for a living. How lucky did she get?
"Thank you." And then she grabbed the dark blue hoodie and disappeared in the bathroom to change.
"It's because I never lose focus of the things which cause me to smile, no matter how miserable life is." She saved telling him he's the reason for another time.
