"because I love you."
his eyes seemed not to know what he just
had said. he wasn't even clear about what he felt towards you, why did he say it?
did he feel any regrets saying this?
yes.
"like, not the way you might think, more as a friend. no, I mean, I love you as a friend. And friends are really important to me, because I only have a few.."
without saying anything more, you wrapped your small arms around him - god, you had missed him so much.
"I love you as my soulmate", shit, namwaan, what are you doing! Is there a brain in your head?!
jungkook, the guy who probably liked you more than himself, smiled at your words.
finally, he was.. calm. relaxed. and felt comfortable.
and quite cold, because he forgot to bring his jacket outside and now he was freezing.
"should we go inside?", you giggled and stood up from the bench, quickly followed by a none stop shaking jungkook.
"it'd mean so much to me."
~♡~
the question; what where you to him?, was finally answered. not by himself though.
you two were more than friends, but less than lovers. it was a strange connection, yet it was warming and heartbreaking at the same time.
the night was still present, but the two of you didn't even waste a thought of sleeping. although jungkook had a busy schedule today, he wanted to spend some time with you.
"it's so strange living in a 5-star hotel. for real", you mumbled.
jungkook and you were both laying on your bed, eyes turned towards ceiling.
"I'd rather sleep in a nutshell instead of enjoying the luxus."
"why?", you asked and turned your body towards jungkook, who was still focusing on staring at the dark ceiling.
"I feel like I don't deserve all of this. my best friends, the luxus, the love I receive from strangers. I receive so much love, but why? I feel like I don't deserve this. that's why I'm trying to work so hard. because I want to have a perfect result, but until now, I haven't satisfied myself yet."
"you're way too hard on yourself, jungkook."
a strange little sparkle in his eyes made you speak up, wanting him to show you how much he was worth.
jungkook was more than just a beautiful presence. he was fascinating humble, had a strange kind of humor, took everybody over himself. hurting someone would hurt himself more.
"you're more than what you see you are."
jungkook turned to face you. only a few inches of you apart, his lips formed a weak smile, knowing that this was the place he belonged to.
next to you.
"I don't even know what I am, namwaan. I'm like a confused kid, who receives everything because of.. of nothing, you know?"
"well, that's my life right now", you whispered sadly.
"I lost everything. my family, my friends, god I don't even know if I had friends. my past is forgotten but still looks so ugly. I just.. want my old life back. I want to remember my old life, as painful as it might be."
jungkook gulped nervously.
yoongi.
you needed to talk to yoongi.
because jungkook felt too bad about knowing his 'secret', the secret you should know too.
things needed to be cleared.
"you should talk to yoongi."
"why? he hates me", you said.
"trust me."
~♡~
after two hours of talking and doing nonsense, you two had finally fell asleep - but jungkook needed to wake up thirty minutes after.
as tired as he was, he entered his own room - being greeted by an already dressed up jin.
"was the sex great?"
"what the fuck, I didn't had sex", jungkook said with his deep, raspy morning voice.
"too bad. I miss having sex."
"jin stop talking about sex or I'll have sex with you", jungkook hissed pissed - but as he looked at jin's smirk, all he had for him was a middle finger.
"glad you're yourself again."
~♡~
you followed jungkook's advice. after you had slept enough, you visited yoongi's room - to your surprise, he was still in there.
"what are you doing here?", yoongi asked unbothered. "I wanted to thank you for buying the tickets. I don't know why you did it, but thank-"
"I did it for jungkook. he's not able to survive without you."
yoongi was cleaning his hotel room - you, unsure if you were allowed to come in, stayed at the doorstep.
"look, yoongi, we had a really bad start and.. I just want to know why you hate me so much."
maybe it was time for a brother-sister talk.
