Letting Him In

Chapter-25

"I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could've followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your doorway
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying"

-Taylor Swift, This Is Me Trying

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Elijah

"Elijah do you know when mum and dad will com- oh, fucking hell," Leo said from the doorway, his voice bringing both Elijah and Dean out of their little bubble.

He pulled away from Dean instantly to look at his brother, but realized it was a bad idea when Leo's eyes widened at the sight of whatever he saw. Elijah didn't want to look down to see what Dean had left on him.

"I-uh," Leo stammered, before mumbling a quick apology and going to shut the door behind him, jumping away as if he'd just been burned.

"Shit," Elijah muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, shit," he said louder, groaning as pain shot up his lower back. He bent over slightly, waiting for it to pass. He felt like he might throw up, but he willed himself to ignore it.

"Li, what's wrong?" Dean asked, alarmed, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. Feeling that hand, which had been touching him in a much different way just a minute ago, on his bare skin sent a shiver down his spine.

He shook his head, both to tell Dean that he was okay and to shake off the feeling of wanting to stay this close to Dean and not move at all. To ignore everything that was happening and go back to what they had started.

But he couldn't.

As the pain finally subsided, he got up, grabbing the shirt from where they had discarded it in the heat of their moment. His hands shook a little, and he had to steady his breathing to push aside the oncoming panic attack. It took a few seconds, but Dean's presence nearby was enough to help him calm down.

"I need to go check on Leo," he said, looking at him apologetically.

When Dean gave him an understanding smile, he added, "Wait for me?"

Dean nodded, "Go take care of it. Poor kid looked traumatized," he said, clearly not being able to hold back a chuckle.

"It's not funny," Elijah glared, and Dean raised his arms in mock surrender.

"Kinda is," he defended.

"Dean!" Elijah groaned, but a small smile graced his lips as he looked at Dean's grin. But his next thoughts replaced that smile with another groan. "My little brother just walked in on... that. I'm not even out to anyone yet."

"Well... now you are," Dean pointed out, making Elijah glare at him.

"You suck."

"I will if you want me to, Li," Dean said cheekily, and Elijah blushed as he caught onto Dean's words.

"What does all of this mean for us, though? Till yesterday all I knew was I liked my straight friend, and now we're here," he said, gesturing between the two of then, finally voicing what had been at the back of his mind since Dean had first pressed his lips against his.

His thoughts were all over the place. Part of him wanted to curl up in his bed and never look at anyone or talk to anyone again. How had his life gone from boring and simple to an absolute emotional wreck in such a short period of time?