Letting Him In

Chapter-55

"Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home
You're my, my, my, my
Lover"

-Taylor Swift, Lover
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Elijah

It was one of his better days. And by better day, it meant he was able to actually get out of bed without agonizing pain taking over his body.

He looked at himself in the washroom mirror, hating the image that stared back at him. The boy with dead green eyes, hollow cheekbones and slumped shoulders- it wasn't him.

Sighing, Elijah looked away, instead heading for a shower. By the time he was done and went downstairs, Lily, Leo and Kaeden were eating breakfast, Leo reading a book while the other two were in mid-conversation.

Kaeden was basically living with them right now, only ever going back home to get clothes. The black eye his father had given him was fading to a yellowish shade. Raine had insisted on him staying at home, wanting to give them privacy, but Elijah had asked her to let them stay. Whatever time Elijah had left, he wanted to spend as much of it as he could with the people he loved.

All three pairs of eyes turned to him as he entered the kitchen.

"Hey," he said, walking over to where they were sitting.

Lily gave him a small smile. "Hungry?"

Elijah nodded, grabbing a bowl from the counter and pouring in some cereal before adding the milk.

"Milk should go before the cereal, always," Leo said, making Elijah glance at him.

He was slightly surprised to hear Leo talk to him, considering he'd basically been avoiding Elijah these past few days. He got that Leo needed his own time to cope, but it hurt to not have his brother with him, knowing he wouldn't see him again very soon.

"Cereal always goes first," Elijah argued, giving Leo a disappointed but amused look.

Leo looked disgusted at the idea, making Elijah chuckle and ruffle his hair.

"You're in a good mood," Kaeden observed.

"Mmhm," Elijah hummed in response, swallowing the mouthful he'd been chewing. "Everything doesn't hurt for once. Hey, Dean has a game tonight, right?"

"Yeah. He didn't wanna play, but his coach didn't give him a choice."

Elijah felt a bit guilty. Dean had missed quite a few games, spending time with him instead.

"I wanna go," Elijah said.

His words were met with silence. Kaeden looked conflicted, but it was Lily who spoke.

"Is that a good idea?"

He'd known that would come. He hated how concerned she was, how concerned everyone around him was. He was tired of hurting everyone close to, of the way whoever loved him had to suffer. He'd said to Lily just a few weeks ago that life was rarely ever fair. He hadn't realized how true it was until now. Because as much as Elijah was suffering, the people around him, in a way, had it worse. He would be gone, but he'd leave behind people who loved him, and he couldn't even think of himself being in the reverse situation.

Maybe he should've just died back when he was eight.

Maybe then, he wouldn't be here, his bestfriend always having to be around to comfort his siblings, and his boyfriend always holding back tears for his sake.

He shook off his dark thoughts.

Today was a good day, and Elijah wasn't going to let it be ruined.

"Lily..." he started, but he wasn't sure what to say. He sighed, rubbing his eyes with his palms. "I just want to be able to live normally for whatever time I have. And I'm feeling fine today, really."