Not Okay

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Tuesday, 28/09/2021

6:00 am

"Good morning"

Raman blinked looking at the message.

"Good morning."

He typed back, before dropping the phone and turning his face otherside. Ignoring the wetness traveling through his nose, he closed his eyes in hopes sleep will overpower him again.

11:36 am

"Khana khaya? Kya khaya?"
(What did you have for meal?)

"Kya kar rahe ho?"
(What are you doing?)

He ignored the notification from his college to submit application about his absence in class. He ignored as his stomach growled softly.

"Humm. Butter chicken and naan. I made it myself. It was damn good."

"I am little busy. Have a important assignment. Will talk later."

He sighed as the phone didn't beeped for few minutes.

1:24 pm

"Bohot zyada kaam hai kya?"
(Are you really busy?)

"I love you."

He took stared at the message for few seconds before typing the reply.

"Thoda bohot."
(Little bit.)

"Love you too."


Tightening the blanket around himself, he played some soft melody. He closed his eyes again trying to enjoy the happy tune but he couldn't.

4:12 pm

Raman groaned as his legs shivered not able to take his weight. He took a deep breath, trying his clear his cloudy vision.
With slow steps, he moved toward the washroom.

After relieving himself, he watched his reflection washing his hands.

Those tired eyes, black circles under his eyes, three angry lines on his forehead, his pale face.

He hurried back to his room. Taking the phone in his hand, he dialed the last number to message him.

"Ishita. I-I am n-not okay. I-I am n-not fine."

He muttered in between his hiccups, wiping the wetness on his cheeks with his palms.

5:16 pm

He closed his eyes, trying to take as much warmth he could from the body cocooning him.

"Ishq, what is happening to me?" He whispered softly as if scared someone else will hear, even though it was only two of them in his college dorm.

"We will figure it out together." Her soft voice sounded like some melody, he closed his eyes as she pressed her lips on his forehead.

"I was feeling so low. I don't know what happened. Just when I woke up, everything felt bad. I tried cooking food but I didn't had enough energy to stand. I tried to join the classes . . ."

He spoke softly as he caressed his hand encouraging him.

He knew he wasn't fine, even if it was for a day.

But with her beside him, he knew it will get better.

*****

Sometimes, knowing how many people are associated with you is scary.

We are scared to admit we are hurt thinking it will hurt our loved ones in some way.

Fears, insecurities, weakness are scary to share with others but just find that one person you trust.

And if you are not juggling with all this, just ask your loved ones if they are fine once in a while.

Everyone needs a Ishita in their life.

Especially me.

Right now.

Regards
~Gia.

P.S :- I am working in updates but I am feeling really low right now. Trying to bounce back. Will make the updates long to compensate but please right now, everything is too much.

Give me a couple of days.

Sorry to disappoint you all but trust me I am not in right mind frame.






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