HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Kuusi; Sweetheart

"What a coincidence"
6

🦚

⚠️ swearing, mentions of bruises and blood, suicidal thoughts, mentions of passing/death  ⚠️

"I wish you were a boy! Useless child!"

"I am not useless! I can do better than any boy ever could!"

"Oh shut up, I told you not to come back again like a f*cking parasite, but you always go against everything I say. Stay away you little sh*t!"

Nine days after Andra's escape

Thyra is going to get her hands on that money. She's going to get the money no matter what. Five hundred gold coins, all of them will be hers.

Those are the words the assassin continues to repeat to herself; over and over again. But while she travels through the gold country, her heart wavers with worry for the mission. She has seen the posters, she has heard the rumors. But worst of all, she has seen what is happening in the country.

Women being fired from their jobs, just because of their gender. New laws being announced in the market squares, laws that have no logical basis. Wherever she goes the women look terrified, worried for the future, looking around at each other, wondering who will stay as a friend, and who will be foe. Even some of the men look unsure about the situation. Forty years of prosperity was brought by the queen, can the king really measure up, with all these new rules? It's very unlikely, but it has only been a few days and nobody seems ready to protest yet.

Except princess Andra and her troops of course.

Thyra crossed the boarder three days ago, between the two clans. Now she's been traveling at a fast pace, day and night, through the gold clan. She only has a map to go by, guessing her way through. The closer she gets to the capital the more likely it is that Andra will be there. She can't have gotten very far quite yet, especially with hundreds of women on her side. Rumors about where Andra is are few, in every town and city Thyra has to play a dangerous game of deciding who is trustworthy enough to ask. Who will have the information, and who won't spread the fact that she is looking for the princess? If Andra finds out that somebody is targeting her it will be hundreds of times harder to kill her.

There's the hesitation again. Maybe if she was a man she wouldn't care, but Thyra is a woman and that makes everything so much more raw. The way the women in this country are going to be treated, or are being treated, is worrying. The gold clan was the first country to give women and men the same rights, and for forty years they have upheld that. But suddenly everything is crumbling down, and the only one brave enough to challenge that is princess Andra. Thyra feels so bad. She is the one who has been tasked to kill her.

But then again, those thoughts leave as quickly as they come. Thyras mind goes bitter. The same kind of bitterness that has been hanging over her back since the day she was born. The cold that bites into the bones and never lets go, the hunger that crawls at the stomach. Skin bruised and spotty, covered in dirt and dust, never clean enough to be comfortable. Clothes rags, laying over the body desperately rather than fitting perfectly. It's an eyesore rather than a beauty, everything is ugly. Disgusting. Gross. Nothing like the colorful and dry and clean clothes she has always wanted to wear. Every day is a constant cruel torture, and thinking about it now Thyra wonders why she is still going on.

She pities Andra and the women of this country, but thinking back to every single woman in her own country, the feeling dulls down a little bit. Not much, but still enough for her to keep going. She remembers the bruises, the harsh words, the cold and the hunger, the discipline and the grayness, the rags and the abandoned houses. Most importantly of all, she remembers the ever growing hate for the rich. Because there they stand, clothed, fed, educated, comfortable and happy, while the rest carry on for a minimal amount of years before collapsing in agony. Thyra hates Andra, she hates everyone, and she hates herself.