HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Eight; Safety measures

"For your safety, and all that"
34

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"You have no right to trap me in this sh*thole!"

Now that they are alone, Fei can speak as clearly as she wants. Andra takes a step closer through the door, her smirk not faltering even when Fei calls her palace a sh*thole.

Fei tries to look for Thyra behind the empress but she doesn't see anyone. Thyra isn't here, it's just her and Andra. Fei feels rage boiling inside of her. She tried to meditate, tried to calm herself down, but nothing worked. Just the sight of Andra's face makes her angry, frustrated and sad. All those days she spent thinking of a plan, all those days she spent walking through the kingdom towards her ancestral home, by foot! All of that is lost, as they have once again brought her here. Maybe she should've fought back harder, maybe she should've escaped Thyra somehow.

Escaping from here is too risky. Fei knows that, and Andra is aware of that. Even if she somehow manages to do so, she'll have to run away for the rest of her life. If Andra catches her, she'll be made a consort, just like the empress said. Fei can't bet on Andra not keeping her word. The empress is ruthless, no matter how charming and seemingly kind. If she needs to make Fei her consort to keep her here, she will. But that doesn't stop Fei from fighting back, verbally. Her lack of control in this situation doesn't keep her from being angry.

"Oh you little, naive angel"

Andra chuckles. Fei steps back again, but Andra doesn't have it. She comes closer, grabs Fei's wrist and spins them around. Andra closes the door to Fei's bedroom with a slam, and presses the goddess towards the closed wooden entrance. With one hand on each side, she fulfills yet another cliché of trapping Fei in place. The scholar looks up at her empress, still angry but surprised at the weird expression on Andra's face.

"Did you think I was that stupid? I didn't become empress just for you to trick me, honey"

Andra whispers. Fei feels shivers down her spine, as her angry frown slowly falters into a more nervous and curious expression. Andra's face shines beautifully, as the moonlight behind her creates a halo over her head. Fei's breath hitches, as she feels the empresses fingers carefully move from the wall beside her to her left cheek. Andra keeps her gaze strictly locked on her, slowly tracing her hand over the skin and brushing hair away from her face. Fei gulps, and tries to stay still, tries not to get affected by such a simple touch. But it's been so long since she was this close to the empress, it's been so long since she found comfort and attraction in her regal scent and heavy presence.

"I have eyes and ears everywhere, especially during war. I can see the way you fight, Fei, and I can see through your lies"

Fei feels horror blooming in her chest. Was this Andra's plan all along? To pretend that she had fallen for Fei's white lies, then trap her and force her down once given the chance? Would the empress forgive her for lying and going behind her back? Fei feels a lump in her throat, fear growing inside. Or maybe it's fear over their relationship, fear that the empress never actually liked her and just played along, fear that she used Fei's naiveness just to be one step ahead. Used her weakness, her lack of life experience to defeat her and keep her under control.

"I'm sorry-"

Fei's voice wavers. Her anger is gone, replaced by fear over what the empress will do to her. Thyra knowing is one thing, the bodyguard has already gotten over it. But lying to an empress is a grave crime. Especially when the empress trusted her so much, slept with her in the same bed and all... what will Andra do now that she knows that Fei isn't a sweet, innocent yet smart noble, instead being someone who keeps secrets and has unchecked power? How much does she know? How much has she figured out? Is it possible to figure out everything?