HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Thirty; Cutting off blood ties

"Xiao Xingchen became close friends with Song Lan due to their shared dream of building a sect that valued common ideals instead of blood ties"
56

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⚠️ blood, murder, attempted suicide unrelated to mental health issues, weapons, violence ⚠️

Belvedere never knew that his grandfather could be capable of such monstrosity.

Standing there, with a knife against his throat, the weapon held by his own mother's father. To think that it would come to something like this. Belvedere never thought his life to be anything of importance. Honestly, he thought that he was nothing but a side character all this time. But in reality, he was something way worse. Related to the villain. The boy that restricted the hero from pulling the last string.

Belvedere thought that he could escape that fate. Being the lover of the past emperor, he was nothing but a tool to the villain of Andra's empire. Escaping that villain, realizing that he deserved better than to die by an abuser's side, he gladly left Aryan with someone who was destined to be a hero instead. Yugo, who was both charming, talented and kind, was the hero of his story. The hero who would always have a better reputation, because he never worked for the bad guy. Still, the hero who married him despite his faults. A hero who Belvedere loves with all of his heart.

He came into this world as the most beautiful man in the Gold clan. He had a golden fate ahead of him, opportunities in the thousands. Entering the palace was the height of his fate, the moment when he was worth the most, the moment where he was the most important. Belvedere thought that it was just dumb luck, but thinking about it now, maybe it wasn't. His grandfather behind him, who pulled all the strings behind Aryan's tyrant way into power, must've slipped in a word of Belvedere somewhere. It was always him, Zhang, who led Belvedere to misery. It was him all along.

Belvedere could never escape this fate. The fate of being ever so close to the villain. He was led by his grandfather right into the hands of Aryan, and even after the former emperor's death, the most evil guy would still share the same blood as him. Belvedere can never escape the embarrassment of being a villain's relative, or a villain's lover. He is an embarrassment to Yugo, who has done nothing but righteous decisions ever since entering the palace. Yugo, the man he loves and has married, deserves so much better than him. Belvedere is bad luck. He is stained. The beauty on the outside is nothing compared to the ugly blood on the inside.

"Surrender"

That is why tears fill his eyes as he watches Yugo and the empress face a horrifying decision.

"Surrender or... I kill him"

He doesn't want them to make this decision. He doesn't want them to choose him over the entire empire, because with his dirty blood he is not worth saving. He doesn't want them to face a decision that they will ultimately regret, once they realize that he is not as righteous as he should be. And Belvedere doesn't want to watch them choose, because secretly he fears that they will choose the empire above him, as they should do. He can't watch his husband sacrifice him, because that will both ruin Yugo's life forever, and ruin his last moments alive. He would much rather die by his own hand than die by the villain's, and he would much rather do it himself than make Yugo do it.

"Belvedere!"

Belvedere looks straight into his husband's eyes, who yells his name out in desperation. Tears run down both of their faces. The empress is frozen in shock, and so are both of her lovers. That's what they are, Belvedere knows that now. He can see the same thing in their eyes as he sees in his and Yugo's. And in a way he pities them, for their love is so much more complicated than his and Yugo's. Him and his husband, they love each other in the most simple way. There is no question about it. That is why it's going to hurt so bad. Saying goodbye is going to hurt so bad.