HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Kaksikymmentäyksi; Inner voice

"There is always going to be two sides, two different opinions"
21

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⚠️ abuse, violence, toxic relationship, unhealthy power dynamic, bruise, bullying, cruel inner voice, weakened mental health ⚠️

Belvedere skips through the palace, as happy as he allows himself to be.

Can't smile too much, people will get angry.

People glare at him as he goes, Belvedere doesn't care. Not right now. Not when he is so happy.

So very happy, he was so happy.

These parts of the palace are unfamiliar, the noble man is happy at the thought. He sees the servants become higher in rank the close he gets. Their clothes are finer, the furniture becomes more and more expensive, the flowers and gardens extremely well taken care of. Belvedere smiles at the sight. He loves flowers, loves all things that are gentle and calm. Doesn't like violent things.

Really, he really doesn't like violent things.

People glares become progressively harsher the closer he gets. It almost ruins his mood. It's not very comfortable to know exactly what they are thinking of him at this moment. Consort. Wh*re. Desperate. Gold digger. Sometimes he wishes he didn't know, didn't understand. But he can't let it sour his mood, today is a great day. The first actually good day in a long while. Belvedere hasn't felt this happy since... well since entering the palace. No matter how many people glare, no matter what they think of him, all that matters is that Aryan loves him, and that Aryan cares.

He doesn't.

And then it's right in front of him, the doors to the emperors chambers. Belvedere holds back a squeal, and a smile, because he doesn't want to seem as desperate as everyone says he is. The servants here are way more respectful. They don't glare, don't stare, don't laugh. They are hard working people, the best in their respective fields. That's why they work here, at Aryans quarters, and that's why Belvedere knows that they can be trusted. Upon seeing him, they open the doors with a bow.

Good people, or just good masks?

He quickly glances down at his green traditional gown, with a wide darker green belt. It's pretty right? The emperor will think good of him? He didn't want to seem desperate, but ever since hearing that the emperor wanted to see him, Belvedere made himself look as pretty as possible. Hid his eye bags with makeup, got his hair done with jewelry and decorations, and dressed himself in his finest gown. It's been a long while since he's seen the emperor. But today that's going to change. Things will get better from here.

Sure.

Another door is opened, after his name is announced. Belvedere briefly wonders why they are meeting up in Aryans office and not his bedroom or living room. Are they not going to spend time together? A small hint of nervousness is barely noticed behind his blinding smile.

"Your majesty"

Aryan looks a little different today, Belvedere notices it after he finishes his bow. His eyes look darker, his pose more intimidating. More importantly, he doesn't wear the smile that he usually has. It wipes Belvedere's smile off too.

"Is everything okay, your majesty?"

Should've seen it coming.

There is no answer from the taller man. He doesn't even acknowledge him. Belvedere shifts his weight from one leg to another, suddenly awkward and uncomfortable. Why is the emperor acting like everyone else today? This is rapidly decreasing his previous happy mood. Aryan gets up from his seated position by his desk, an angry look on his face. Unconsciously, Belvedere takes a step back, and immediately regrets it. How could he fear his own lover?