HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Twentyseven; Murder on my mind

"She doesn't say anything, because deep down, she is not a good person"
53

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⚠️ non censored and censored swearing, death threats and dangerous situations, suicidal behavior, arguments and mentions of death, dangerous weapons ⚠️

Although it may appear strange, Fei was not nearly as enthusiastic about being saved as she should've been. Perhaps because she had already made up her mind about this situation.

"Yeah? Shouldn't you be doing this properly, boy?"

She wanted to be killed for the good of the universe. It would be better for everyone on earth and in the realm of the untouchable if a goddess stopped living among mortals. Is that not what they said? Is that not what Andra and Thyra meant by their anger and words? That she, as a goddess pretending to be a human, had inconvenienced, lied and right out scammed them. Manipulated them. Done nothing but bad things when all she wanted was to help, all she is here to do is to help. What was she supposed to do when the gods and the empress wanted different things? One wants her to help, the other one wants her to stop. So which one is it, Minerva? Which voice outweighs the other?

The fact that the human voice sounds louder than that of a gods, really shows where her heart lies.

So yeah now Fei is angry for real. She has spent the past day and night fuming in her own anger and misery, thinking about nothing other than freedom and death, going between the two in her head over and over again. Wondering what she should choose, her own freedom or the good of the people of this earth and the gods high above. Fueled by their previous argument and angry words, remembering her own insecurities and past, Fei has drifted far when it comes to her mind. Far enough to choose death, and be angry when that death is not given to her. Not angry because she wants to die personally, but angry because they are contradicting themselves. Saying that she shouldn't have helped them one day, and then saving her the next. Perhaps not knowing that the sole reason for her existence on this earth is to help them. Help the empress and her soldiers.

"Did you have to get involved?"

She stares pointedly at the empress and bodyguard, both standing behind them holding swords and panting harshly. Their horses look dead tired on their feet, another sign of them rushing here as fast as possible. Fei doesn't even know how they knew she would be here, but she doesn't care. Right now all that matters is her pure red anger that fumes from the top of her head and gives her stare a piercing edge. But her words are so unexpected, so unfamiliar to the situation, that everybody stops to stare at her, dumbfounded.

"Who the f*ck are you?"

The soldiers finally seem to react, apparently not recognizing the face of their own empress. Perhaps because she looks much different standing on death mountain than sitting all almighty on her throne. Her gaze is different, her clothes seem different, her eyes look different. The empress is good at separating personal matters from her life as empress, her entire aura changes when working versus when she isn't. Thyra is different. She always has the same deadly aura no matter where she is, barely changing the tone of her voice and the content of her words when around her lovers. Fei hates how she analyzes them despite being so angry with them at the same time. Andra laughs, less amused and more unfathomably angry and frustrated, when she hears them swear in her presence.