HOW TO LIVE AGAIN (girlxgirlxgirl)

Seven; Senior scholar

"If your answer isn't yes, I won't ask"
33

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⚠️ talk about suicide but not in a mental health kind of way, kinda toxic love ⚠️

"It's been such a long while since I last saw you"

Andra muses.

She grabs Fei's jaw, catching the younger completely off guard. The goddess looks up innocently though, pretending that there is not a thought behind her eyes. Like nothing is out of the ordinary. She sees Andra look into her eyes and study her, try to read her and her emotions. But Fei has gotten quite skilled at controlling her expressions over time, quite skilled at keeping secrets. No matter what the empress tries to find, she won't. Fei can see the frustration behind Andra's eyes, and doesn't know if she finds that attractive, scary or amusing.

Finally, after a few seconds of silence, Ands lets go of her face and gives up silently.

"Did you think you could run away from me that easily, little bunny?"

She says, rather silently but still with a huge and proud smirk over her face. Fei feels herself blush and look away, frustrated that she lost the battle of words. Next to them Thyra is still holding onto her arm with a tight, near bruising grip. She must not notice it herself, but for some reason Fei doesn't try to pull away or say anything against it. She stays put, with that slightly faked innocent, gentle smile and look. Bashfully she explains everything to not look stupid.

"I wasn't aware her excellency wanted me to stay, I am afraid I returned home where I was needed"

She says, fully knowing that it's a lie. Fully knowing that Andra knows it's a lie. She says it purely to get the taller girl angry and frustrated, knowing that she can't say anything against her. They never talked about what to do after the war, it was only an assumption on Andra's side. Therefore she cannot claim that Fei made a mistake by leaving, because she was never told to stay. As always Fei can twist her words to sound both aggravating and polite at the same time. She smiles innocently, but there is an evil glint in her eye. Andra scoffs quietly.

Then her smirk is back.

"Well, it doesn't matter, it's been several weeks, but you are finally here. I am offering you a position at my court"

Fei squints. She immediately tries to give herself some wiggle room.

"Offering? Then I humbly must refuse"

Andra frowns at the plain rejection. They are both aware that Andra won't let go of her that quickly, and the slight squeeze on her arm tells Fei that Thyra isn't very happy with that either. But she still had to say it, to make herself clear. She doesn't want to be here, the palace is not her home. In fact, it's more like a prison and she wants them to know that. Andra's voice drops a few octaves.

"Well then I won't offer, I am appointing you to be senior scholar, and from now on you will reside behind the walls of the imperial palace"

Andra deadpans, saying it like a royal decree. Fei frowns and looks away. No more wiggle room. She is stuck, officially. But the appointed job lights something in her. Senior scholar? She had expected, or more like feared to be appointed as one of the empresses consorts. But maybe Andra is not as heartless as she makes herself out to be. She knows that consorts fight more, they are bullies and have much drama between them. She also knows that consorts can be subjected to a lot of slander and rumors. Senior scholar is a much better post, not to mention a more quiet one and one that she would feel comfortable in as she can handle the job better. Fei is almost thankful. As a consort she would be trapped for life.