Abyssal (ManxMan)

Suicide Attempt

Suicide Attempt

Kai leaned his head against the chair's back and closed his eyes. He wanted to rest his eyes so badly that he struggled to open them again a moment later.

He knew for a fact that Marius was watching him like a hawk. Waiting for his response. That in itself was overwhelming; King Marius had never waited for him to speak an opinion or a protest before. He'd barely even given Kai the time of day once he was done kidnapping him. So, here he sat, lost for words, and once again feeling like a little ant in a much bigger scheme.

As it turned out, his home nation wasn't that squeaky clean after all. They weren't the 'good guys' either.

Nor was the Spirit of the Sea.

Especially not the damned Spirit.

What the fuck. You're killing the seas? Aren't you the seas?

No response, as usual. No surprise there.

You run your mouth chastising me about trying to kill myself and you're out there doing it to yourself?

"What are you telling me this for again?"

"I need your help to stop the Decay. New Dark Zones are appearing by the month now, each one bigger than the one before it. If it doesn't stop, the sea will be consumed. How long do you think humanity will survive with dead seas that will eventually turn to dead rivers?"

Not long, Kai imagined. Damn, but Marius made one heck of a compelling argument. Probably because of the merman in him, Kai loved the sea with a passion that never abated over the years. If anything, his love for it grew by the day.

Which was why he couldn't stand the thought of anything corrupting or harming it.

But what could he do about it?

"I can't control the Spirit." Kai reminded him, albeit begrudgingly. The last thing he wanted was to expose any weaknesses to the Conqueror lest he got conquered himself, but it was the honest to God truth. The Spirit refused to obey or even answer him at this point.

"I can teach you." There it was, his proposal again.

Doubt seared his mind. He'd been right to assume that Marius wanted something in return for his help, but what he hadn't accounted for were his selfless reasons. He meant to save the world.

A part of him almost burst out laughing, while the other part nearly burst out crying.

Marius the Conqueror, the Black King of Nostraza, wanted his powers because he needed them to save the world from ruin.

What insanity. As if. No fucking way.

Yet...

Kai had spotted the sincerity in his eyes and the desperation underlying it as Marius had shown him the illusion. He hadn't sensed any dishonesty or deceit, not that he considered himself to be an excellent judge of these things.

"What if it doesn't work on me?" It was something he just tossed like a poorly-designed bait. He wasn't even sure what he'd gain or understand by asking that question. He supposed he was just stalling the inevitable question, the one he dreaded answering.

"I know it will."

"How do you know?" He wanted to say 'You know nothing about me' but Marius had proven time and time again that he knew more about him than he even did.

Why was he so certain he could teach Kai to control his powers? Other than breathing underwater, Kai had yet to exhibit any sort of powers that hinted at his merman blood.

"You've used your powers before."

"What?"

Marius smiled. "Just as I suspected; you don't remember. Rather, you're repressing your memories."

Kai had heard that before. It was exactly what Erasmus had told him.

"What happened?"

"Show me your wrists."

Kai looked down at both his wrists in confusion. "What am I looking at exactly?"

"The wound has already healed."

"Wound?"

Something flashed across Marius' face so quickly that he missed it. "You slit your wrist."

Kai let out a loud gasp. He hadn't seen it coming, and it had hit him like a crowbar to the face.

"I... what?"

Never in a million years would have tried to take his own life. It was ludicrous! No, no way! Even in his darkest days did he think about suicide. He genuinely didn't believe that the thought had crossed his mind, even when he'd been publicly molested by a tentacle monster, or had been tossed into a ring naked to win or get fucked.

"Why would I... do such a thing?" he breathed. Every molecule in his body protested against this accusation, refusing to believe it.

"You meant to summon the Spirit, making him think you were in real danger."

Kai swallowed the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. "I...did?"

He had no grounds by which to refute this; he couldn't remember a thing. Was that why he was repressing his memories? He'd traumatized himself so severely that his mind had locked those memories away?

He started hyperventilating. His pulse went from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. All of a sudden it was a struggle just to get air into his lungs.

Kai found himself instinctively leaning forward in the chair, a hand splaying against his chest as if to urge his lungs to relax.

"Yes. It was glorious."

Kai looked up at Marius questioningly and his breathing steadied just long enough for him to start fuming. How the hell was him attempting suicide to force the Spirit to help him glorious?

"We fought." Marius' smile widened until it looked like he was bearing his teeth like a wolf. Kai flinched. "I lost."

Kai blurted out. "Good. It's about damn time."

The sounds of a hearty laugh echoed across the massive chamber, startling him. Eyes wide, he stared at Marius, and tried to ignore whatever his pounding heart was doing. He had an expression on his face that he'd never seen before. He looked downright delighted by Kai's statement.

What was with him today? Though he was still the same overbearing, infuriating asshole, these slight changes in his character were throwing Kai off. He never knew what to expect when it came to Marius.

"You should have seen yourself."

His suicide attempt momentarily forgotten, Kai found himself really wishing he could have seen himself using his rumored powers. Maybe then he'd understand what all the fuss was about.. He said so out loud.

Still smiling, Marius proposed, "How about I show you?" 

*~~~~~~~~~~~*

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