Chapter 1

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Rosie's POV

"Well are you gonna bother?" , Christine asked.

I huff as I open the passenger's side door and put my bag of books on the seat , pressing my cheek against my shoulder in order to refrain from dropping my phone.

"Chris you know my answer.." I said with a sigh.

"I know..I just feel guilty.." , she replied.

"Why?" I questioned her , with almost annoyance in my tone of voice. I can't even begin to comprehend my sister's thought process. Why the hell would she feel guilty after what he did , not just to her but to me too , he hurt her , he hurt both of us.

"Wait babe hold that thought , I'm just getting in the car.." I said , climbing into the driver's seat and shutting the door behind me. I then switched the phone call over to the bluetooth system in my car and turned the volume up high.

"Okay go.."

"He's our father , Rosie , it's his funeral.." she said , the guilt she had mentioned previously really showing itself as she spoke.

"Needn't I remind you that you now see a therapist every week because of him , Chris?" I argued.

"Trust me I know , the three hundred quid being dragged from my bank account each month speaks for itself.."

I chuckle.

"But he's still our dad , Rosie..." , she continued to justify on his behalf.

"I honestly don't know why you think anything you could possibly say is gonna change my mind.." I sigh , "I see him every night , Chris.." I admitted , not much louder than a whisper.

I hear her sigh over the phone , "So do I...Mum too.."

I shake my head , "Don't..I've got 30 12 year olds to deal with in an hour , I can't be feeling this amount of crap right now.."

Chris chuckles , "I've actually gotta go in a minute so I'm assuming you're not gonna change your mind?"

I exhale heavily , "If you really want to go then there's no way I'm letting you go alone , but I'm not going off of my own back , Chris..I'm sorry.."

"Don't apologise , babe..I understand.."
"So are you going?" I asked.

"I'll think about it..I have a week to decide.." , she said.

I sigh , "Alright , I'll talk to you later.."

"Okay , take care , love you.." she said , wrapping up the conversation.

"Love you too.." I said , before clicking the "end call" button and listening to the call disconnect.

"Shit.." I mumble to myself under my breath , running my hands down my face.

Almost every night I wake up in a cold sweat and short of breath , the image of his body towering over mine , his arm pulled back prepared to lash out , haunts me still. It's been 10 years and I still wake up with tears in my eyes. Yes , I've learnt and am still learning to deal with it , but that doesn't make it any easier. And now Chris wants me to go and pay my respects to the motherfucker after everything he put us through? I wish I had a heart as big as Christine's , but he was a piece of shit and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy that he's gone for good.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Evie began yapping in the back seat ; I'd forgotten she was even there , despite only having put her in here about five minutes ago.

"What are you barking for , doggo?" I complained , as if she'd actually answered me back.

She continued to bark , the sound too bloody loud for any mortal ear to endure at 7am on a Monday morning.

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