23. Exposed

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"You cannot heal what you will not unveil."―Sanjo Jendayi

The ruckus and chaos around William made no difference to him anymore. Everything was the same, black and void except for the two sunshine. He was going to be a godfather today. With great efforts he brought up the energy to mask his pitiful self, that too would slip away momentarily. His ego that nothing can affect him had burst into flames.

He kept his attention solely focused on the twins. He was using them as a shield, hoping their faces would keep him away from the dark thoughts and it worked. Once the ceremony was over they were back to the manor where his family had thrown extravagant banquets in celebration, all the upper-class nobility of London were invited, even the Queen and the Prince made their attendance.

William made certain to attend every important guest in the banquet and he stopped unconsciously at the circle that were gossiping about the Liverpool. He tried to eavesdrop but there was no need as so many has gathered to hear about what others had to say. William stood there listening to the chatter.

"It was strange," A Lady spoke up, "For Lady Liverpool to faint in the ball like that and then her family refusing to call for the doctor but insisting on taking her home."

William's heart filled with worry, he decided at once he will visit Kathalina and check on her. His soul won't rest easy unless he sees her for himself. But the next word uttered made him stand rigid in his spot.

"I know 8 out of 10 cases that faints or fall sick before their wedding is because they are exhausted by the preparation but the remaining 2, those 2 are getting married because they fainted first," Someone said chuckling, arising mocking laugh from others.

William balled his fist, he wanted to shove it into the faces of all who speak ill of her.

"Do you think Lady Liverpool comes in those 2?" Someone asked.

"Well, her parent's behaviour was certainly saying there was more under the hood than her exhaustion," Someone pinched in, "And who would want to marry such an unrefined lady anyway, she has to use other means to catch herself a husband."

William stood listening to them, the words hardly registering in his brain. All of their gossip pointed to Kathalina being pregnant, and it could be his child. His eyes moved to the twins that were the centre of attention today and he realized he wasn't ready to be a father.

He wanted to give his children the world but he wasn't ready to give up everything for sake of them. And Kathalina didn't even come to him, she is marrying someone else. Did she know he wasn't ready? Did she make a decision for him?

Everything around William fell into silence, his mind couldn't comprehend anything anymore. Then they couldn't even be his children. She could simply be using him. The note he found a couple of days ago made things so much clearer for him. He decided to keep his distance from Kathalina even though his heart protested so vehemently.

He closed off his brain and moved away from the crowd. Even though he chose to stay away from her, even though evidence pointed that she was his enemy, he couldn't bring himself to hate her.

He wished she wasn't with a child. He didn't know what to do if the child was his or how would he live his life by knowing the woman he loved was carrying someone else's child. Everything made him feel angry.

William felt exhausted. He hasn't been sleeping very well for some days. He can't seem to tame the wild thoughts that run around his brain unhinged. He decided to retire for the day even though the party was in full swing. He spoke his thoughts to his mother who suggested he take a break. She didn't want another gossip to ignite by his absence.

William sat down in his office chamber opening up the secret drawer where now only one parchment lives with Kathalina's handwriting. Every time he looks at those words his mind tries to find another explanation, one that didn't include breaking his trust. But then the cautious side of him reminds him who she is and that note is the proof she betrayed him.

William curled the note in his fist and threw his head back in the settee. He saw a woman standing in the door and his face lit up at the prospect of seeing Kathalina again. But she wasn't Kathalina. 

"My lord," She said, "I hope I am not disturbing you. I was worried since you left the celebration so early."

"Lady Caldwell," William said to his fiance, "Please have a seat. I came to take some respite. Would you prefer some brandy?"

"No, thank you, my lord," She said sitting in front of him, "I do not do well with alcohol."

Kathalina could compete with him in drinking, maybe even beat him. He shoved away that thought as soon as it entered his mind.

"Pardon me, I only have alcohol in my office chamber," William said apologetic, "I will ring for the footmen right away to bring something for you." 

"Thank you, my lord," She said smiling, "I thought being a politician the crowd like this will be a child's play for you, but you are really nothing like what ton portrays you to be."

"Are you saying I am incapable of being a politician?" He asked with raised brows.

He could see her demeanour blanching. He knew she was having an affair and now dared to question his ability, was he really going to marry someone like her? Maybe Kathalina was right he ought to call off his wedding but then that could ruin his reputation and career which is what Kathalina could be aiming for.

"I am simply trying to understand you, my lord," Her words brought him back from his own head, "I do not think anyone is qualified enough to question your abilities rest alone me. I was trying to understand you a bit more, my lord, after all, we are set to be married very soon. I do not mean to disrespect you."

"Pardon me, I came here looking for some time alone," He said irritated.

"I will leave you to your devices, my lord," She said standing up, "Please do not forget we have to announce our engagement in tonight's celebration."

William had completely forgotten about the announcement. They never formally announced their engagement even though everyone was quite aware of it by now. William cursed his luck. He didn't want to marry Lady Caldwell.

"Are you still carrying her?" 

A high pitched voice startled William that he almost fell from the settee. There was Kathalina in her manly disguise fighting with the curtains that doesn't seem to let her go.

"Ah, bloody tarnation," She cursed the curtains where her feet were stuck.

William could only watch in trance and she unceremoniously freed herself from the tangles and then made her way to him. She was nothing like a lady, making weird expressions with her face, throwing her hat on the floor, her hair stuck on her head like a nest.

"What!  What are you doing here?" William whispered so lowly that Kathalina didn't even hear it.

"Oh, congratulations on being the godfather," She said excitedly, "The twins are looking so adorable tonight, I wanted to pinch their cheeks so hard."

"How did you get in?" William spoke, his voice alarmed.

"What?" 

"How did you enter Kentshire manor?" 

"Oh, that, it's one of my talents," She said playfully.

"You mean the infiltration," He said accusing.

"Pardon me," She said sensing something was wrong.

William put the curled up note from his hand onto the table.

"This is your handwriting, isn't it?" He asked.

Kathalina picked up the note that said.

Kentshire Manor: Infiltration Successful. -K

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