25. Back To You

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"It was nice to want you so badly it made me breathless yet at the same time hate myself."―Sophie Kinsella, The Party Crasher

No, that can't be. He had thought about every way possible and what he was doing was for the best.

But best for who?

Was it best for him? How was it best for him when he lived his days in agony? Knowing that he broke the heart of the woman he truly loved and cared about. Certainly, she hates him now. After all, he didn't clear the misunderstandings surrounding his involvement in her library debacle.

But she hurt him too. He didn't know if he should call it fate or bad luck that he ordered all the missive leaving the manor on the day of the twin's birth to be halted and brought to him first to make sure no negative words spread out. He called on his family's trusted service people to make sure everyone else was kept in check.

She was smarter than he gave her the credit for. The note was addressed to her father's office. A politician receiving an infiltration message could be played out in any way possible. There was nothing he could prove. But he knew his worst fear came true when Kathalina's face drained with recognition of the note. She played William like a fiddle.

He knew now it was all his fault. He knew the consequences of fraternizing with the enemy, yet he let his heart get the best of him. And now he is paying the price he never imagined in his wildest dream. 

His footman coughed bringing him back to reality. He was all dressed up for the last celebration he wanted to attend. Kathalina was getting married a day later and her family had thrown an extravagant soiree for the bride and groom. Naturally, with all the nobility in London, the invitation was extended to the Kentshires too.

Apart from William, every other member of his family had no direct conflict with Liverpool. It was simply that their way of life was vastly different from each other. While Liverpool's were very traditional and conservative, Kentshire loved to defy the norms, living the life of adventure.

Hannah was stepping out of the manor for the first time after the twin's birth and his parents happily agreed to stay with the twins. Since his brother's missive stated they were somewhere in Scotland doing God knows what there was no other choice but for William to attend the celebration.

He felt like he was cursed. He was attending the pre-wedding celebration of the woman he loved who not only broke his heart but also made a fool out of him.  Everyone would be laughing at him behind his back. Her father would have been his enemy but he was certainly a very talented politician and to be defeated in such a way, William felt ashamed of himself.

He wanted to ask Hannah for a favour so that he wouldn't have to attend the festivity. He waited at the foyer for the couple to arrive who were still fussing over their children. Hannah was assuring Oliver that everything will be alright and his parents were more than capable to take care of two infants when they raised four men like us.

She was certainly irritated with his brother, he will need to approach carefully if he wants to get his way. 

"Hannah," William said cheerfully, "Why do I feel like you have three children instead of two."

"Hey," Oliver interjected at the insult his brother threw at him.

"And I don't want a fourth," Hannah said narrowing her eyes. Did she already look through him? Even though it was still worth the shot.

"It has been so long since you had stepped out of the house, Hannah, I think..."

"No," Hannah interrupted him in the middle, "You are coming with us and I am not going to be deceived by your fake smile. Save it for your parliament."

Hannah walked away, he looked up at his brother in shock. The other only smiled at him and patted his back and walked ahead for him to follow. Certainly, Hannah had shared everything with Oliver. Oh, how he hated married people at that moment. 

Would he be like that when he marries? God forbid! He wasn't going to be such a person ever. But keeping things from Kathalina hurt William in a way he never felt before and all he wanted to do was run to her and pour his heart out. 

"William," Hannah's voice reached him through the carriage, "I do not want to spend my night in the carriage waiting."

His feet moved with the fear of upsetting Hannah even more. He wasn't certain if he or his brother would be back alive if they do anything to get on her nerves. William carefully seated himself in front of the couple.

The ride to the Liverpool's was quick and silent. He never knew they lived so very near to each other or it was merely his wish to prolong reaching the estate. William found his hand shaking involuntarily. He has never been afraid before but he was standing at the doorstep of the woman who trampled on his heart and yet he couldn't help but be excited to see her and talk to her and embrace her.

He wondered would he be able to look at her without revealing any of his emotions? Would he be able to handle her being happy in someone else's arm? When she looks at him and whispers in her fiance's ear how they made him a laughing stock. When his family congratulate then and she accept it with utmost enthusiasm and words she couldn't wait to marry someone else other than him.

A gloved hand held his shaking hand tightly. He looked up to see Oliver and Hannah still in the carriage watching him carefully.

"It will be alright," Hannah said shaking his hand.

Oliver nodded at him telling him the same thing silently.

"Tell her the truth," Hannah said, "You deserve it and she deserves it."

William was absolutely not going to do that. He would be the best version of the stone statue and leave as soon as he can.

With a heavy heart, he made his feet move towards the entrance. He felt as if every movement he makes was excruciatingly painful. As he walked following the back of Oliver's head as he had no courage to face Kathalina yet. 

His eyes were filled with blinding light and the music tore through his eardrums making his head throb. 

William couldn't help but gawk at the beauty of the Liverpool estate. He had never once visited the place but its grandeur and beauty were blinding. It was still set in the stone walls of centuries ago, the place taking him through the walk of history.

He was reminded of the fact that Liverpool's were one of the most ancient families of Great Britain just like Kentshires. They were only next to the five great families of the King's council.

William's eyes roamed around the castle walls taking in all its magnificence when Hannah dragged his hand with the tip of his sleeves. He saw her eyes fixated in front of her. William's eyes followed Hannah's line of vision to see Lord Adam's obnoxious self taking all the presence and slightly behind him was Kathalina. 

She wasn't at all how he expected to find her. All of William's fear and judgements melted away like hot lava and his feet moved on his own towards the woman he loved.

The state he saw Kathalina in, broke every resolve to stay away from her.

She wasn't happy in the arms of another, she wasn't laughing at him behind his back. It was worse so much worse.

She stood like a living corpse.

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