Red vs blue (Female OC) season 14

PSA you had me at halo

Fade in to the Reds firing at Caboose and Shawn, who is hiding behind a rocky outcropping and crying while Shawn was comforting him.

Caboose: Oh, boo hoo.

Shawn: It's okay Caboose.

Grif walks over to them.

Grif: Hey what's wrong with you Caboose?

Caboose: What? Nothing.

Grif: Come on, we've been shooting at you guys for like twenty minutes, and you haven't run away screaming once.

Caboose: (sigh)

Grif: It's just not like you.

Caboose: I'm sad.

Shawn: Mhm.

Grif: Sad?

Caboose: I know. It's just... Do you know what today is?

Grif: Absolutely no clue. What day comes after yesterday?

Caboose: It's Valentine's Day.

Grif: It is?

Simmons and Thea appear next to him.

Simmons: Hey, what's going on up here!?

Thea: Is he okay?

Grif: Caboose is in a depression.

Thea: He is?

Shawn: Yep.

Simmons: No, It's called a foxhole, you idiots. Haven't you learned any military terms yet?

Grif: No, I mean he's depressed.

Caboose: *moaning sigh*

Grif: See?

Simmons: Sad? Who gives a shit, we're trying to kill him. Let him be sad when he's dead. Hey, you, stop having feelings.

Grif: Apparently he's upset because it's Valentine's Day.

Thea: It is? No wonder I keep getting messages with hearts on them.

Shawn: You too?

Simmons: It's what?

Grif: Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day? The day we celebrate love? And romance? You know, girls?

Simmons: Oh, oh- oh yeah, right, yeah, duh, I totally know about that day. I celebrate that day all the time. With all kinds of ladies.

Grif: You don't have to try and impress me.

Simmons: Oh you just don't know any of them and uh, I didn't talk about it because you know, that wouldn't be cool.

Grif: Yeah I'm sure. So why didn't you know what Valentine's Day was?

Simmons: Oh I just didn't understand what you said.

Grif: Well what'd you think I said?

Simmons: Valentine's... doy?

Grif: Ah yeah, I can see how that would throw you off.

Thea: Mhm.

Shawn: Not convincing.

Caboose: Boo hoo hoo.

Grif: Oh come on, man.

Caboose: I'm all alone now. Church was always my valentine.

Grif: Why don't I believe that?

Caboose: It's true. We had a tradition.

Cut to Church in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen

Caboose: Hey, Church. Happy Valentine-

Church: Get the hell away from me!

Cut to Church in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen

Caboose: Church. Would you be my-

Church: Get the hell away from me!

Cut to Church and Wash in the past, with Caboose approaching from off screen

Caboose: Hey Church, Agent Washington. Nice weather.

Church: I guess, okay.

Caboose: I wonder if we'll find all those mean computer people today.

Church: Whatever, fine.

Caboose: You know, because, today would be a great day to find them, since today is-

As caboose talked, the camera moved to show, devices? In the shape of a heart. (Am I the only one who thought this was cute?)

Church: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

Cut back to Caboose and Shawn in the depression/foxhole near Grif, Thea and Simmons in the present

Caboose: I miss him so much!

Grif: Well you probably shouldn't.

Caboose: He loved me!

Simmons: Yeah, I have no idea why you'd think that.

Caboose: If he didn't love me, then why on every Valentine's Day did he give me my very own heart?

Grif: That was your heart! After he pulled it out of your chest! Don't you remember? It would always take Doc hours to sew it back in.

Simmons: Man, he used to bitch about that so much.

Thea: Yeah! It was funny.

Shawn: It was like a slasher film in real life! But more romantic like.

Thea: What?

Caboose: And now it feels like it's been ripped out again, *normal* but you know more symbolically this time, *sad* instead of like the regular way.

Thea: Would you feel better if we made fun of you and called you names?

Caboose: *kinda happy* Would you mind?

Thea: Not at all, you stupid freaking shithead.

Caboose: Thanks guys. You're the best.

Shawn: Holy shit, you sounded just like Church! How'd you do that?

Thea: Oh I practice in the mirror when ever I want to mess with Sarge or something like that.