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Consequences (part four)

Wayo's POV

The next day at lunch, that man came to the Science canteen looking for me. I couldn't see him, I was too afraid, but before I could run, Ming was there.

"I thought I made myself clear," Ming said, pushing that man back away from me. "You are never allowed to be in the Science Faculty when Yo is here."

"I need to talk to him," that man said, trying to come closer. I should crawl into a corner and hide, so he couldn't get to me, but I stayed behind Ming instead.

"Talk to him from there," Ming said, moving only slightly so that I wasn't completely out of view. I looked up, not really wanting to see him, but when I did, he didn't look the same. He was thinner, older looking, tired. I'd heard that none of those four men were friends anymore. It seemed after what they did to me, they couldn't spend time together without rumors following them. I didn't feel bad, that was their own problem.

"Yo," that man started but stopped and changed his tone after a look at Ming, "Wayo, I know it probably won't matter, but I'm sorry. I did something horrible and now I know it was all my fault. I never explained what I wanted from you. I was so arrogant, that I assumed you would do anything I wanted because you loved me. Now I know that I was wrong."

I nodded. I didn't care about his apology, it didn't change anything for me. There were no words powerful enough to erase what they did that night. They couldn't go back in time and change what happened. I would never be the same person, I would never see the world the same way. Whether or not he apologized meant very little to me. I could only hope it meant something to him.

"Can we...," he seemed to be looking around, "be friends again?"

I heard the grinding of Ming's teeth and saw him tensing, so I stepped up to Ming and quickly took his hand, trying to unclench his fist. I looked at that man again, and spoke as clearly as I could, which was basically a whisper, "I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you, I can only say I don't hate you now. But we'll never be friends again. I can't trust you and I don't have time in my life for people I don't trust. Please don't look for me anymore."

He looked down at his hands, and nodded in response before he walked away. I could only be grateful when he was gone. I wanted to sit down and catch my breath, but Ming was holding me in place, staring at my face.

"Is something wrong?" I checked my face to see if I'd been crying again, but it was dry.

"No, nothing's wrong," Ming smiled and pulled me to our table for lunch.

The next day was Friday night, the best and worst day of the week. Ming and I would go home to see my dad for the weekend. It was the worst because we spent the first few hours sitting around feeling awkward while dad asked about everything in my life, which meant I had to tell about that man coming to talk to me. It was the worst because Ming should be out partying with his friends and enjoying his life at the university, but he was always babysitting me. It was the best because I got to be with the two people who made my life worth living.

After dinner, Ming and I went to my room. He looked sad, but I didn't know what to do to make him happy.

"Can we try again?" I asked this time, hoping to prove I was getting better so he could ease up and go have some fun. "I won't get scared this time."

"Are you sure, Yo?" Ming asked, always worried about me. "We don't have to push. If you need more time, I'm fine with waiting."

"Waiting for what?" I asked, genuinely interested in why this test seemed to be so important to him. We always seemed to be waiting. Waiting for Ming to be himself again. Waiting for life to go back to normal. Waiting for the next thing to happen. Waiting for me to stop being a freak.

"Waiting for you to love me."

************

"It's okay, Yo," the voice I trusted called to me. "I'm right here. Everything's gonna be okay."

"Ming?" I asked, not sure what was happening. "What did you say?"

"I said it's gonna be okay," Ming answered, but not the question I was asking.

"Before that," I hiccuped, my hysterical crying leaving me out of breath. "Before."

Ming smiled, moving slowly as he cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb gently over my lips, "Do you know how beautiful you are? How many people want you? How jealous I get when the twins tell me that you smiled and I didn't get to see it?"

"That wasn't what you said at all," I put my head down, trying not to cry again. My stupid imagination.

Ming lifted my face with a gentle finger under my chin, "I've been waiting for you to love me back. Why did you think I was spending so much time trying to get you to kiss me?"

"But you loved K-Ki...," I still couldn't say the name out loud. Those men, Kit, Beam, Forth, and that man, I could think most of their names, but if I tried to say them, they got stuck on my tongue.

"No, that was infatuation and a little bit of jealousy," Ming said, his eyes searching my face. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I just didn't know I loved you this way until you were already dating someone else."

"This way?" I asked, trying to focus on Ming and not the memory of the only man I had ever actually dated.

"More than friends, Yo," Ming said, slowly, gently, patiently. "I love you so much that I want to kiss you more than I want to breathe. I love you so much that I want to hold you in my arms and never let you go. I love you so much that I want you to forget every other man that came before me, because I am your everything. That's the way I love you."

I don't know what to say. I'm afraid. I'm so messed up. Broken, and maybe I won't ever be fixed. There were so many things I was sorry about in my life. I didn't want to be sorry about this.

I looked up to see Ming's face next to mine and moving closer, "You don't flinch when I touch you anymore. Even when you're surprised by my presence, as long as you hear my voice, you don't flinch."

I nodded. Why would I flinch? He was someone I could trust. It was one of the reasons I loved him.

"You get excited when we kiss," he continued, his hands coming up to caress my arms. "I know you're attracted to men and I've felt your arousal when we kiss."

I nodded again. Of course I was excited to kiss him. He was so handsome. It was one of the reasons I loved him.

"We know everything about each other," he said, pulling me just a little bit closer. "We can finish each other's sentences. We're already best friends."

I nodded once more. He was my best friend, the best person in the world as far as I could tell. He was kind, he was thoughtful of others, but he never let people walk all over him. He stood up for himself and those who were weaker. More reasons that I loved him.

"Love me back, Yo," he said, his lips meeting mine. We kissed for awhile, gently and then more passionately, but Ming let me lay on top of him, never holding me down.

"I know it won't be easy all the time. I know you still get scared," Ming said, running his fingers through my hair as I laid against his chest. "I love you and I want to be with you. So I'm waiting for you to love me back."

"Ming?" I wanted his full attention, I looked up at his handsome face. "I love you back."

************

In the fuzzy future that we all imagine, Yo has moved on and he and Ming are truly happy together. They love each other completely and Yo isn't afraid anymore. Kris is happy and carefree again, because he knows that Ming will always take care of Yo and Yo will always take care of Ming. He may have some moments of regret, but he tries to forget them when he sees his son's happiness. Their families are happy for them and love them unconditionally.

Pha, Beam, Kit, and Forth — well, they each had their own stories. Their own realizations and fault finding. Whether they blamed each other or blamed themselves, they couldn't change what they'd done. They just had to face the consequences.

(First Published: October 2021)