Natasha/Scarlett one shot

Survivor's guilt N.R

Natasha POV
Y/N was heading out a lot more often than usual. For someone who likes to stay inside and do nothing, this sure was a change in behavior. The weirdest thing was she never told me where and why she was going out.

She heads out at random times of the day, usually evening coming back late into the night drunk, heading out in the afternoon and not to be seen for the rest of the day.

"Steve, have you seen Y/N?" I asked Steve, who was training.

He shook his head. "You care about her."

"I care about you losing your head." I retorted and turned on my heels and left.

This was it. I'm going to get answers tomorrow, I ain't going to let her get away with this.

The next morning came and I woke up slightly earlier than usual just to make sure she didn't escape, which wasn't a problem since I was normally the first few to wake up. I immediately positioned myself where I could see the exit so she wouldn't slip off without me knowing.

It was a few hours of waiting before I finally saw her make her move. I followed her in the shadows and saw her take a few corners into the alley before stepping out in the streets again. It was clear as day that has done this many times as she walked aimlessly without stopping. Even the traffic lights turned green for her.

"Hey Ryan." I heard her say as she entered the bar. She took the seat that was right in front of the bar while I took the corner.

She hasn't realised I was here even after ordering a few drinks within the half hour. I don't know why she was drinking so much but now I know why she comes back so drunk. I couldn't stand it anymore and stepped forward to stop her from drinking.

"Oh hey... Isn't it the one and only Natasha Romanoff?" She slurred. Her breath reeks of alcohol even in a distance. "Aren't you saving the world? Why are you here?"

"Stop drinking." I snatched the glass away from her hand.

"Hey! That was mine! You can join if you want, but if you are going to ask me to stop drinking then you can leave." She took the glass back and finished it in one gulp.

"Another!"

"Give me the same as her." I told the bartender.

"Awww... isn't it too heavy for you to carry?"

"What are you talking about?" I furrowed my eyebrow at her and she just continued to laugh at me and mumbled incoherent words that I couldn't understand.

"She's talking about the drink." Ryan slid the cocktail towards me. "Sledgehammer, is the name of it."

In the time it took me to drink one, she was already on her third glass. "You need to slow down."

"I miss them... I miss them so so so much..." She started holding her empty glass above her head with both hands and started crying.

"Hey..."

"It's my fault... If wasn't being such a brat, they wouldn't have died. If I wasn't being picky about what I was wearing, we wouldn't have missed that train and got on the next one. They wouldn't be on the train that got into an accident... I should have been the one who died instead."

"Look at me!" She started rambling so I turned her barstool around so she was facing me and lifted her head. "There are a million 'ifs' if you keep thinking about it. Would your parents want you to wallow in self pity?"

"I... There's... They shouldn't have died like that."

"It's alright, calm down." I hugged her and Y/N continued crying on my shoulders for a good few minutes before it turned into hiccups.

"Hey Y/N?" I called out to her after not hearing any noises coming from her. I turned my head slightly to see that she had fallen asleep on my shoulders.

"She always passes out before waking up to drink again." Ryan said while wiping the glass in his hands. I sighed looking at her. Since I followed her here walking, I'm going to have to call a cab to bring us back to the compound.

I carried her up to her room, assuming she would be awake soon since that's what Ryan said. Finally, she stirred and groaned awake. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

She nodded her head and I waited for her reply, ready to get her anything she needed.

She wrapped her hands around my wrist and pulled me abruptly into her. "I want you."

"Y/N, you're drunk."

"You sure? I drank less than usual." Since I set her at the edge of the bed and she pulled me into her, we hardly have space to be so close to each other. I was holding onto her precariously so that I wouldn't fall backwards and embarrass myself.

"I don't want you to regret this."

"Are you sure? I can let you go and let you fall now."

"That wouldn't be a great idea."

"Exactly." She pulled and rolled me over so I was having a bigger space. "We'll talk about it tomorrow morning."

Written on 23 Oct 2021
Posted on 26 Feb 2022