DNF Oneshots

i'm not letting go. (fluffy angst)

Prompt:
You're safe, okay? I'm not letting go.
Warning: potential triggers from anxiety attacks, eating disorder, purging, intrusive thoughts, over thinking.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Note: It has a happy ending I swear!

...

George had always been insecure.
This was common knowledge to most people that know him.

He'd been diagnosed with anxiety at a young age and had struggled with it his whole life. When he was a teenager his problem with eating disorders started.

That brings us to now.
He's still struggling. Most thought he'd gotten over it.
They're wrong.

...

There he was on the floor of the bathroom in the apartment he shared with his loving boyfriend, Clay.

He was scared. He really was.

Last week he had hit the 2 month mark of being clean from any sort of purging.
His boyfriend was so excited he got up 2 hours before George did to drive and pickup his favorite coffee.

On top of that, he wrote the most heartfelt letter about how much he loved him, how proud he was, and how much he cared.

God did it feel so worthless now.

He'd just disposed of his breakfast and lunch from that day.

When he woke up that morning, he felt rather off. He decided to push it aside and not tell Clay because he figured it would blow over if he ate a lite breakfast like usual.

It didn't.

By the time lunch came around, he'd eaten again but felt too full. Like the food was just sitting in the back of his throat.

It made him want to throw up

He decided to weigh himself, and try to shake the feeling.

"Oh god.."

"I was at 120 just last week, how did I gain so much..?"

His body even seemed larger.

Had he really gained that much weight?
How did he let himself do this?
No, what did Clay think?
Had he noticed? He must've.
How could he ever care about him like this?
He was so excited that he got to 2 months.
He'd be heartbroken if he found out what I just did.

His breathing got heavier.
Soon his watery eyes were overflowing with tears.
He'd fallen back to the wall of the bathroom now.

What do I? How could I be this stupid! I could die from this!..

He started feeling dizzy.
His vision was blurry, and he started disconnecting.

This is bad.

He was "snowballing" as his counselor called it.
Becoming incapacitated by all the things running through his head.

What will Clay think?
What if he breaks up with me...
I'm not good enough am I?
How could I do this.
This isnt something I want to fall back into.
This isn't what he signed up for.
He's gonna leave soon isn't he?
I'm not good enough for hi-

"George?"

Oh no.
He can't see me like this

"Love, are you okay?"