The songs From My Past

°21°

Waking up next to Dream, my boyfriend, is  honestly a fairytale. I never thought I would be loved like this, I never thought someone would care this much about me.

Two days ago I did the stream, the stream where I sang to chat, where I kissed Dream infront of chat, where he asked me to be his boyfriend. And.. I never thought that my life could change so much.

He writes notes every night and places them on my nightstand for when I wake up, reminding me that I'm loved. He cuddles me, rubbing my back gently, until I fall asleep. He wakes me up with tea and a hug.

It always lit up my days, so I thought. What if he read my journal, he might understand how I felt and know how to understand the pain I went through. It must of been so confusing when he first saw me cry, when I'm a person who doesn't like to show emotions and then suddenly let them appear...

I walked over to my wardrobe. Letting my hand lead the way. I held the white, wooden handle and opened it. I saw it on the floor, it wasn't dusty anymore, since I have been opening it more often but it still looked old. I reached my other hand out for it, holding on to the fake gold spirals. Bringing it closer to my stomach, holding it there as I called out for Dream.

When he said he was coming, I let out a sigh, looking down to the book resting on my stomach. 'I can't believe I'm doing this'

I looked up at the door and saw his leaning against the doorframe.

"Babe?" I smiled and turned my back to him and walked to my bed. Sitting down comfortably against the wall, patting the space next to me showing him to come sit down.

"Come sit, I wanna show you this"

I walked over and sat next to me, placing his arm around me.

"Is that your journal?"

"Yeah, I think it's time for you to read through this"

"But baby, that's personal"

I didn't answer him. Instead I gently grabbed his hands, placing the pastel blue book in his soft hands. I looked up to his eyes giving his a small smile then cuddling into his chest.

"Baby, are you sure?"

"I'm sure" I closed my eyes, listening and feeling the beat of his heart. Slowly drifting off into slumber.

Dreams POV-

George trusts me enough to let me read his journal, something that's gone through shit with him, he has said before that the journal contains diary days, songs, and even a few pictures. I honestly don't really know how to feel, I feel like I will cry, but I know that no one will ever hurt him again. I'm here to protect him and comfort him.

I take deep breath and open to the first page.

Hey, My mum bought me this journal, I'm George Davidson, I'm 7 years old, I have a great life, my mum and dad both love me and give me things. Here a picture my dad took of me on my 7th birthday!

-A picture of 7 year old George-

I smiled, I had never seen a picture of George in his childhood before, he was so cute. My finger rubbed against his cheek on the picture. This was probably before every thing went wrong. I continued to read the messy, child's writing.

I got a toy truck and some cool clothes. Sadly I have no friends to show my presents to, but my mum plays trucks with me! I love mummy! Daddy takes me shopping for a nice lunch, we went to Macdonalds and I got a happy meal! I love daddy!

Oh mummy is calling me for dinner now, I'll take later. Bye new friend!

I frowned, he had no friends? I felt so bad. I turned the page. I smiled there was a small poem, very cute, he started songwriting at such a young age.

Hello new friend! I have been very busy, mummy's teaching me how to play the guitar! She sang a song with me today! I love mummy! And my dad got me stickers to put on my guitar, today I put a smiley face on it. It represents (I learned that word in school today, it means 'shows') how happy I am! Oh family game night it today so I'm going to find monopoly (Im not sure how to spell it) byeeeee new friend!!!

So that's where he learned to play his guitar. And his mum led him to sing. I remember when George sang to me on the balcony, I was looking at his guitar and all the stickers on it, I do remember seeing a smiley face but it was partially covered. I read through more pages and then after 5 pages I got to when he was age ten. My eyes widened. The page was rinkled in some areas, like water had made contact with the paper.

How are you? I'm just perfect, my sister was born and my mother died. I hope your ok. I don't really know what to say today. I'm sorry but I need to go, the baby is crying an my dad won't leave his room. I assume he's upset but I am too so I don't understand why he can't get up and sort out his child. I miss mummy! I miss daddy!

A tear slid down my face, dropping on the mop of brown, fluffy hair which is slightly ruffled from the fabric of my hoodie. This is his story, I closed the book, wanting to continue it later, lying down putting the covers over the boy on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, giving him more warmth. Rubbing his back up and down. Closing my eyes, letting my mind wonder.