unsolved disappearances » otis and ruby

Part 9

My two-week vacation in Paris found me spending time venturing around the city. I took the opportunity to explore the local tourist attractions instead of staying cooped up in my small motel room.

The decision to move abroad out of Europe meant I would have to part ways with my dog Baby. I was able to get in contact with a dog adoption agency and Baby was matched with a French family just outside the outskirts of Paris. We created an agreement on my return back to Europe I would be able to take her home with me.

Baby had been through so much with me, just being torn away from her for a short while for me to clear my head was heartbreak enough. It needed to be done, I knew she would be looked after and loved in my absence.

Using some of the money I had placed on a card I was able to purchase more practical clothing rather than the fashionable ones I usually wore. I needed to blend into the background rather than stand out. I was a planner after all.

I even spent a lot of my evenings researching pregnancy and the development of a child. I was terrified that I was actually carrying a child and the thought of attending a doctors appointment to confirm it. I was able to use the WIFI network rather than the computer that sat in the common room, it was a private matter.

If the circumstances were different I would've liked to have the opportunity to share this experience with my mother. I knew how hard it was on her because she was only able to conceive me. Maybe the news would even bring a smile to my father's face, he would have something to look forward to rather than the everyday challenges that came with his MS.

Yet I ran.

How would Otis take the news that I was pregnant? His mother would absolutely want me to have an abortion. I knew Otis was a smart boy and would go far in his schooling, I didn't want a child to ruin that for him.

Along with a cellphone purchased, I even came across a second-hand electronics store where I purchased myself a small DSLR camera. It featured just a simple kit lens, I thought I would be able to put together a scrapbook of memories that I would be able to show my parents when I ventured back home that I was safe.

Sally had invited me back to her office just three days before my departure. The New Zealand immigration had accepted all my applications quickly. She had given me the rundown of my trip and what I should expect in my first two weeks.

"So there will be a three-hour layover in Singapore, otherwise it is a direct flight until you get to the Auckland international airport," Sally informs me as I read over the notes she had given me. "The next flight you'll take is Auckland to Queenstown which will be the next day, giving you time to rest. Even giving you the option to go explore your surroundings, we have sorted you some overnight accommodation not far from the airport."

I nod taking in the information. "Are you all set to leave?" She asks.

"I think so," I say, still not sure myself. 

I had celebrated my eighteenth birthday myself, this granted me the option to leave the country without the permission of my family. I brought myself a chocolate-covered croissant due to the cravings for sweet food.

I had never been the person to eat breakfast in the morning, trying to keep my small figure. Yet the beast inside me wanted me to eat everything in sight, which caused me to feel nauseous or even bring up the food just hours after eating. It was a cruel cycle.

"Perfect, thank you for meeting me once again. I hope you're excited to take the next step!" She gushes how brave I was leaving home so soon. Not even finishing my high school education. 

All I was hoping for was the beast growing inside me to be healthy and free from any of my trauma because I wasn't strong enough to stick around. I needed the support but being afraid meant I had to leave, things were complicated enough without involving a baby.