Luxsoka-The Things we don't Say

The fight isn't over

                                                                                       Ahsoka

"You're going to be safe, right?" My hand shot to the side of his face after I had finished suiting up.

"I should be asking you that, you're going to be in the battlefield," He placed his gentle warm touch on my cheek as I let myself slip into a sadness.

"I don't want to kill anyone," I looked up to him with wide eyes as he looked down at me, his hair combed back.

"I know." He embraced me into tight hug, as my head headed into his chest I breathe in his soft musked scent, it was calming. "Don't worry I'm sure it won't be as bad as battles you fought in during the clone wars."

"True, plus I mean it does feel good to actually have weapons now." I shrugged with a grin as I showed him my formation.

"They definitely made you stand out with that outfit," He looked me up and down briefly only to be caught with a blouse when I caught him. "Sorry." he told me sheepish before he picked up a blaster and attached it to his belt.

"Lux-" I caught his hand when he began to turn away. "Please be safe." We brought our foreheads together as our breathe drew short, my eyes closing, imagining that we were anywhere but here, somewhere calm, somewhere with a light wind, somewhere quiet and peaceful like a field of flowers, and the fluffiest clouds in the sky.

We were separated before we could say another word, he would be inside, working on the systems and maps and direction while I would be in the font lines, with people I would never dare trust, and they didn't trust me either.

This could be a blood bath, one that I may or may not come out of.

"If any of you try to kill me, I will do the same." I bite to them as I tried to stay in character of who they thought I was. I would want to kill any of them, quiet honestly I didn't want to kill anymore people, not anymore. But I wouldn't die, I wouldn't die because of Lux.

s I could until they said something until they yelled and threatened, and then we spilt up into separate house, driving people out.

I arced into one of the houses, my heart beating fast, my breath warried, this wasn't right, none of it was, I just, I didn't want to do this anymore, I never wanted to hear the sound of blaster fire again, or smell the burning plasma in my nose, or that horrid smell of burning flesh that tended to follow.

"Please don't kill me!" A women sobbed out to me as she held her infant child in her arms as she rocked bac and forth.

"I won't." I reached a hand out to her as I could her the screaming form outside,  I would have to make this quick. "Please just pretend as best as you can to be dead, and they won't hurt you." I told her quickly as through her trembling she seemed to understand and with that she laid down.

They began to shoot, at the random civilians who just wanted to live and stayed in the back as long as I could until they said something until they yelled and threatened and then we spilt up into separate house, driving people out.

I arced into one of the houses, my heart beating fast, my breath warried, this wasn't right, none of it was, I just, I didn't want to do this anymore, I never wanted to hear the sound of blaster fire again, or smell the burning plasma in my nose, or that horrid smell of burning flesh that tended to follow.

"Please don't kill me!" A women sobbed out to me as she held her infant child in her arms as she rocked bac and forth.

"I won't." I reached a hand out to her as I could her the screaming from outside, I would have to make this quick. "Please just pretend as best as you can to be dead, and they won't hurt you." I told her quickly as through her trembling she seemed to understand and with that's he laid down, laid her baby in a safe spot, and poured some kind of red jared liquid over her body.

"Thank you-" She sobbed out to me before she went completely still when the heavy footsteps burst in through the door.

"Stop moving so slow, I thought you were supposed to be a weapon." he huffed before he dragged my by my arm out the door, as I stumbled down the steps, falling and scraping my knee in the process, after all the boots they made me wear had awfully large heels on them.

As we ran through the streets I used the force to run, jump, flip and move things out of the way, I didn't have to but I had to try and impress, to mark some kind of leadership, to mark that i wasn't some weak thing for their disposal.

I didn't kill anyone- well I didn't until one of hem attacked me- till one of them saw me trying to help a civilian and the they attacked pushing me to the ground, and I wasn't going to I told them I wouldn't fight back, but when I wanted to give up, when I thought that they should just be able to live I imagine Lux crying, crying over everyone he lost, and how devastated he would be, after all he believed that everyone he would ever love would die, and I wouldn't make that true.

I pushed them off with the force, and with the battle raging on, as we jumped to a rooftop, I sliced them with my weapon their blood spurring all over my face, as the cuts on my arms and legs only just started to bleed.

I stopped for a minute as I caught my breathe, I didn't want to do that-

Fire- they set fire.

It started to blaze.

The red and orange glowing.

The heat blazing. 

The screaming growing louder.

That smell

The burning flesh

It's worse than anyone could ever imagine.

I jumped off the roof as I ran through the streets trying to secretly save people without the rest of the empire knowing, and plus who would really know if I just used the force to guide the fire towards them, I know it sounds bad, but it was the only way to stop all of them from dying to help all the innocent people.

"What are you doing!?" he shoved me down as I tumbled down into the burning rule, the heat burning my skin in the slightest.

"Excuse me?" I asked out as I shoved him to the ground, his eyes seemed surprised by my strength.

"Kill." he whispered out, as he struggled under the pressure of my heel, his eyes looking at me with confusion.

"No." I shook my head as I looked at him with hurt eyes.

"Kill." He called again , his voice cold and cool, as he tried to catch me on edge.

"I said no." I told him again as I applied more pressure as if to squash a helpless little bug.

"I mean it should come naturally to you, that's all the Jedi order did, was kill. You think we are so bad,  but look at you, the Jedi order killed a ton of innocent people, even though they tried to so called "help" people, do you know how many people got hurt in the process? Do you know how many lives the Jedi order destroyed. Thy are mass murders, you're a murder, you think you're so good, and innocent, but you have so many blood on your hands. You're stained." He kicked me down, as I fell a shard of burning glass cut against the side of my montral, his eyes blazing into mine.

I wouldn't let it bother me, I couldn't let my emotions take over, but I had to take care of myself, for Lux.

I stood up almost instantly, and without even thinking he flew across the blazes of fire to the other side, he was safe, he was alive.

"Ahsoka! " He yelled out his voce hoarse as his hair blew in the wind, the breeze brushing against my bleeding skin. "Ahsoka Say something! Anything!" He reached his hand out into the air towards me, as his dark gray eyes began to fill with tears.

"I love you-" I told him as I felt the warm salty tears slip down my burning cheeks, the sob coming onto me like this weight that I couldn't throw off. 

I apologize if this chapter wasn't the best I'm still trying to get better at writing battles/fighting. 

May the Force be with you <3